These boots are made for walking...

...and that's just what they'll do!
One of these days,
these boots are gonna
walk all over you.


Thank you, Nancy Sinatra, I couldn't have said it better myself.
 
Yep, today Rod cursed at me again.  Over such a silly thing.  He wanted me to print out a document after I was done writing it.  Because he rarely reads anything I print out for him, and out of a certain greeniness in my lifestyle choices, I said firmly that I would send him the link (and here he tried to interrupt me by talking over me - quite loudly - but I continued) so he could then print it out whenever it was convenient for him.  He told me, quite gruffly and even angrily that "No!  You will print it out!!"  The autocracy of that statement was shocking to me.  I was curious (honest!) so I asked.  I even asked nicely.  "Why can't you print it out?"  Wow.  The rage that came over his face and contorted his features was again shocking.  His lips flattened over his teeth.  He was really biting back what he wanted to say.  And then it spewed forth like a volcano, molten and red hot.  "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN--"  That's all I heard.  As calmly as I could, I picked up my jacket, my gloves, and said "That's it.  You cannot speak to me like that.  You cannot curse at me.  I have asked you nicely several times to stop it, and still, you continue.  From now on, I walk every time you curse.  Maybe I'll come back this time.  Then again, maybe I won't."  I'm not sure what he said as I left, or if he even said anything.  I do know I stayed gone for 20 or 25 minutes.  Stick that in yer productivity pipe n smoke it, bub!  Perhaps he will eventually see a relationship between cursing and me not getting as much work done that day.  Then again, that would require active logic, something which, I'm afraid, Rod sorely lacks. 
 
When I came back, Rod was in a distressingly Pollyanna mood. Complete with good cheer and friendly air, this guy had walked right out of an Andy Griffith episode.  All he was missing was the whistle, a delightful red headed child, and a fishing pole.
 

 
He was giving Jen dating advice when I got back.  All I heard of the advice was that he was currently dating 3 different women.  According to him, it's a numbers game, and the higher the numbers, the better the returns.  Like it was gambling advice and he was telling her how to play the nickel slots or something.  Unbelievable. 

That's all that has really happened today.  Here are some recent short stories:

*phone rings*  Rod answers and determines who is on the phone.  "Don't ever call here again."  *click*   *Phone rings again almost immediately* Rod answered and says immediately: "What don't you understand?!"  *click*  Ahh the professionalism!

"I wanna see some PICTUERS!  AheermEMMM!  And NOT of HIM!!"

"We could uhhhm Katie... are you going to...." Silence.

On the phone:  "Well, I can't talk about that because it is SEXUAL in nature." Oh, brother.

While on the phone with his mechanic:  "It sorta takes AWAY from the AMBIENCE when I'm with a lady, I mean, you know what I MEAN?"  Then this silent wheezily laugh like Muttley from the Dastardly Duo:

(I'm just not sure if Rod would actually be Muttley because of the laugh, or Dick Dastardly because he's such a ... ).  I of course, am Penelope Pitstop:

Zooming off for the day,

Eye Tee "Penelope Pitstop" Girl

Insanity, that's all there is to it.

Rod has got to be just plain crazy.  I mean it, really.  I don't think he's sane.  Legally.  I wonder what the defini... Here it is, courtesy of www.m-w.com: in·san·i·ty such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction.  Yup, that's Rod.  Let's see what else it says. (ctrl tabbing, one moment please): 3 a : extreme folly or unreasonableness b : something utterly foolish or unreasonable
There we have it.  Rod is insane.  If the first definition I listed didn't convince you, I hope the last one did.  Utterly foolish, unreasonable.  That is Rod in a nutshell.  Plus, I don't think he should be allowed to sign his own checks, so that ticks off the first one, too.
 
Seriously, do you know how hard it is working for someone like this?  The red herrings he has me chase down every two hours or so completely kill my productivity that I never actually get to do my job.  Of course, I am then held accountable for what I have gotten done each day.  As a result, I now print out my daily tasks with hourly accounting on them, so that when Rod wants to know what I've been working on, I can show him the clouds he sends me chasing after.

Did you know, I think I've mentioned it?  Rod curses.  A lot.  Most of the time, it's just to himself (I think) but sometimes at Jennifer, sometimes at me.  Then, he acts shocked when I get angry. Now, don't get me wrong, I can cuss with the best of them.  I can drop the F bomb as easily a water balloon in late July. But at the work place?  It just doesn't seem right.  Specifically, it feels really bad when my boss curses.  It feels even worse when he curses at me.  So, lately, I have changed my tactic.  I confront him directly and ask "Why did you have to curse at me just then?"  Or I will say "Cursing at me does not behoove this conversation."  Or I've even been known to say "When you curse at me, it shows how little respect you have for me.  Please don't do that."  None of those phrases have helped.  Of course not!  Take today, for instance.  He very directly cursed me, "Goddammit, Katie!"  So I called him on it and said "Why do you think it's ok to keep cursing at me?" And I expected him to back track, to apologize, some acknowledgment that what he had just done was wrong.  No.  Quite the contrary.  "BECAUSE I WANT... YOU ARE DENYING... BECAUSE YOU WON'T... BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO ADMIT THAT THERE IS A DATABASE!!!"  Wow.  I've undoubtedly been cursed at in this life... but hopefully it was worth it.  Hopefully, I did something to deserve it.  Maybe I back talked my mom, or maybe I broke someone's heart. But not admitting to the existence of a database?  Call me the crazy one if you want, but I don't think that's worth calling down hell and damnation on someone's head.  (For the record, in this particular conversation, I didn't even know we were talking about databases, much less that he wanted me to admit to its existence.  To hurry up his leavetaking, I immediately admitted that there is a database.  It appeased him.  Who knew the existence of an entity like a database could turn into something so emotional?!)
 
While on a conference call with a customer, Rod told them that I told him he speaks with a forked tongue.  Hmm.  I said "No, I called you a snake.  That's not quite the same thing."  Neither statement was true, but I couldn't let him get the upper hand!  Obviously, with my charm and quick comeback, I quickly won over the potential client and had them in my pocket.  He then asked "Do you know what it's like to be in arrears?"  Now, I could likely be mistaken,  but isn't that akin to asking "Do you know what it's like to be behind on your debt payments?"  Who would say something like that? Only Rod.  Do you suppose he thought people wouldn't know what that word means?  Then, he went on to talk about his personal life, and said "Now, be sure to let Scarlett know that I'm spoken for now."  Now, mind you, Scarlett hates Rod, perhaps more than we do, but I guess Rod hasn't figured it out yet.  Or maybe he has, and he just thinks comments like that are funny.  When I was done cringing from that comment, he went on to ask everyone there if they had ever told their manager to shove it.  When he came to me to answer, I replied, "No, I haven't."  Since I knew where this was going, I waited.  "Oh, c'mon KATIE!  Of course you have!  When you're really mad, I bet you have told SOMEone to shove it!!"  I said something like "The word that came out of my mouth probably wasn't 'shove'."  Well, of course, he just thought this was hilarious.  Now, remember, nobody else has really said anything, Rod has just rambled on and on from each of these topics to the next.  His goal was to humiliate me, but when he started asking if it is appropriate to say "Merry Christmas" to someone you don't know well... I think it backfired.  Someone said "Happy Festivus for the rest of us!" and poor Rod didn't get the reference.  He didn't even try to Google it so he could understand why everyone was now laughing at him.  Hell, he didn't even ask!  He just said "Festivus?!  What are you saying? What? FESTIVUS?  Hrmph"  (If you don't get it, here you go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus )  Poor Rod is just so out of touch.  With the times, with reality, with normalcy...

So there you go, just another day in paradise.  Rod is now back from swimming, so I'm cutting this one off for the day.  If something good happens in the next hour before he leaves, I will blog again.

Thank you to those of you who posted kind words to me either in Facebook or here.  It really, really helps me to know I am making people laugh.  Think Simon and Schuster will be calling me anytime soon with a book deal??

HAPPY FESTIVUS, EVERYONE!


Eye Tee Girl

Crazy, Cuckoo, Cranky

I'm just in a foul mood today.  And Rod is not helping.  In fact, I believe he is responsible for it.
 
Let's start where it started today.  I was demo-ing a product for him when it started, blam-o.  He was upset with the size of the window of the application. Because it's basically an informational screen, it doesn't really get any larger.  Maximizing it just moves it - it's the way the program is written.  Rod kept wanting me to make it larger.  For half an hour, we went round and round. Finally, after asking why he wanted the box bigger (was there something he wasn't displayed in the window, I asked?) he said he wanted the actual font sizes larger.  He wanted me to change the resolution.  I explained that I use a standard and clients have never complained about it being too small.  This wasn't good enough for him.  Now, I use a laptop all day, and the resolution settings on the LCD are what they are.  I can decrease the resolution (thereby increasing the size of the picture), but then my display becomes fuzzy and distorted.  It physically hurts my eyes and it wouldn't take long before I got a headache.  All that being said, Rod made me change my resolution, to see if that would make anything bigger.  It did, but only barely so - not even a quarter of an inch.  I was fighting him so hard on this, there was no chance I was going to drop the res down to 800 x 600.  So Rod finally gave up on making the screen bigger.  And then...
 
And then, he noticed I have my Windows task bar on the right.  I'm using a wide screen display, and I like my bar on the right.  Sure, it's different, but the point is, it is my preference, because it is on my computer.  Rod saw it on the right and then asked me to remove my "Google bar thing."  It took me a second, but then I figured out he meant my task bar.   I said, "Um, this is my regular task bar, where Internet Explorer and email and stuff all hang out.  I can't really 'remove' it."  "Oh, well, you should HAVE it like everyONE ELSE does, it's very DISTRACTING over there..." And on and on he rambled (incoherently as usual).  I finally just stopped him and said "Rod, for God's sake, this is my computer.  I am not going to customize it for your comfort!"  I felt a twinge of guilt at my tone, but for crying out loud... He wants to control so much about me that he even wants to tell me how to set up the display for my computer?  He goes too far, this time, I tell you!  Too far!
 
Yesterday was Rod's birthday.  His daughter actually came in and decorated for him.  Garlands and crepe paper, it was really great.  I guess today, Rod got tired of the garlands hanging over the hallway.  Mind you, I think most people would have just taken the garlands down.  You know, like find out where it is attached to the wall and remove the garlands?  Nope, not Rod.

I'm not sure how much of the mess you can see here, but Rod decided, I guess, to just rip or cut down the garlands and crepe mid hallway.  This left a bunch of little glittery strands in the hallway.  Of course he did not clean this up, so, naturally, it is now getting tracked all over the office for poor Jen to have to try to vacuum up later. And we now have three very short silver garlands.  Wonnnnnderful.
 

Rod is so so very inapprop.  He asked a customer if he would like an update on Rod's love life.  He later called a scheduled phone meeting "a date" with me (gag me), and what is worse, Jen even encouraged him in calling it a date.  She seemed to find that quite hilarious.  I didn't.  I did, however, find a great deal of humor when Rod went right up to Jen and said to her "HEY! KATIE!  I need you to...  Wait, are you Katie?  Katie..?"  He said my name twice there, as though it just didn't taste right on his tongue.  Then it hit him!  "No! You're JENNIFER!"  Whatever, dude, just as long as you aren't talking to me, use my name all you want.  Then, later, he was talking to, I dunno, someone, and he mentioned his birthday, the party tonight, and that he needed a designated driver.  Of course, he would need someone circumspect, as he is hoping to "get lucky" tonight.  Ugh.  Ick Factor +7

In this cold snap we are having, Rod brings his swimsuit in so it isn't "freezing" when he puts it on.  Ok, a couple things here.  #1, I do NOT need the visual of Rod "freezing" something when he puts on a swim suit.  Ick Factor +5.  #2, isn't this the purpose of a locker room?  To leave your clothing there so you don't have to tote it around all the time?  Poor, poor Rod.

Recently, Rod told me to go look up some company documentation on our server.  So I went to the folder called Acme, and then searched around in there where I thought I would find the file.  I had no luck, I told him.  I was asked where I was looking, so I told him.  He got frustrated with me.  "NO!  It's in AACompanyDocuments folder!!"  Ohh, right, sure!  What was I thinking?! That makes perfect sense!  (The funny part is, the company name doesn't even start with an A, so it makes even less sense than you'd think!)

He has told every single person he has spoken to on the phone today that his birthday was yesterday.  Even if he just makes 5 calls, do you understand how tiresome it is getting when I know he is going to get on a call? Every single person.
 

Rod criticised Jen's sister for wanting to get a new car.  This, after hearing the story that said sister had to use her foot to stop the car after the brakes failed in a parking lot.  (I think Jen said the brakes actually "fell out.")  Yeah, time for a new car in my book, but for skinflint Rod?  It's still good as new!

Rod is lazy, we know this.  But it became clear again the other day when he told me he hadn't yet bothered to read the release notes.  He then came over to my cube to have me scroll through them and read them to him. Lame.

On Monday morning, "Jen, you've been working with this client for QUITE some TIME now."  Jen: "Um, December 4th was Friday?  So it hasn't been that long?"

"We are just two names, uh, two FACES, two er... AHERM... passing in the night."  Ships, Rod?  

Oh, Dear Reader, coming in to work every day is getting more and more difficult.  The stories I present here are (supposedly) humorous, but the day to day battles of dealing with someone who forgets nearly everything you talk about, who won't read things you send him, and who can't even remember your name and your face... well, it just gets to be unbearably difficult.  Please, reply to messages, contact me on Facebook, let me know you enjoy my stories or ask questions.  I need to know there really are normal, friendly people out there!

Over and out,

Eye Tee Girl

I win!

Oh geez, what a crazy day.  There isn't even a trend to report on, just a mix of crazy stories.
 
The day started off wonderfully:  For the first time all week, I came in earlier than Rod.  This meant I got chill out time at work to be productive, listen to my tunes, and not chew my bottom lip, wondering what craziness will come flying at me any minute.

And then it came.  The door flew open at 7:54.  Rod came in, bringing a burst of chilly fog swirling in with him.  Loudly, he pronounced to the world (or just me, anyway)  "I OVERSLEPT!!"  Well, goodie for you, Rod.  Must be nice to just waltz in any time of day and yell that out to the universe.  Obviously, I was starting my day with a pout.

Rod is just so crazy.

Jen was being called on the carpet (supposedly) for not having prepared enough for a call.  I think that's what he was doing.  Anyway, she had everything all ready to explain.  She had booked extra time for a particular call to make sure the potential customer would be able to download the software necessary for the call.  She's done this probably hundreds of time.  As she put it "He needs time to test if the product download will work through his firewall and that it will install properly, too."  Rod essentially repeated back to her what she just said, only he made it sound like he was talking to a 6 year old: "Ok, Jennifer, well you KNOW the software doesn't always WORK with firewalls because you have to be able to download and DEPLOY the software, too."  Hmm.  Pete and RePete, eh?  Lovely.
 
He quizzed her further.  Suspiciously, as though she wouldn't have an answer, he asked, "What does this guy plan to DO with our Image Tracker Software?"  Jen said she was confused.  (I would think the answer is obvious based on the name of the software, but Rod persisted.)  "WHY is he LOOKING at this SOFTWARE?  WHAT does he WANT to DO with it?!"  Jen kept her cool.  She made her statement sound like a question.  "Um, to track images?" That was good enough for Rod.  He grunted approvingly, and that was that, I guess, because he didn't have any further questions.

A few days ago, Rod was taking a personal call in the office.  He mentioned Thanksgiving dinner with his nephew and said that the nephew's girlfriend was a VERY good looking woman.  I just rolled my eyes.  But then he said "And they are LIVING in SIN!"  Now, I'm not sure if he was joking, I hope he was.  But either way, I didn't really care.  Apparently, it bothered Rod.  Two days later, he came up to me and apologized for saying something so offensive about living in sin when... and here, he couldn't finish his sentence.  Can you imagine?  Rod made himself feel uncomfortable.  It was an awesome moment, and I let him writhe in his awkwardness.  Finally, I had to let him off the hook.  "No offense taken, Rod."  Whew!  The air rushed out of his pent up lungs like a balloon!  "Okay, thank you, good day."  And he was gone.  I felt victorious. 

Here are some good one liners lately, please add your own WTF type comments after each one:

"I don't think Rocket Rick has much to be bragging about down there."
 
"I am trying to get Rose Bowl tickets so I can go through the gates dressed as a DUCK."

"How about this Tiger Woods fella?  I tell ya, that had to be some good action he was getting for $50 million!"

"We are financial PREDATORS on the HUNT."

He made Jen change the wording on some call notes from "Demo (giving tour of product on website)" to "Website Tour"

He asked Jen, rather angrily, to justify a call. "What do we have to GAIN on this call?"  When Jen answered "Five grand," he backed down.

Rod scheduled a call with me to "show me how" some piece of the software works.  I was skeptical, for sure.  But he seemed confident.  So, at 11, he came over and told me to open "the viewer" for the product.  He acted like it was a completely separate application.  I was confused, and told him so.  He got mad.  "You are TELLING me, you have NEVER used the VIEWER?!"  He was incredulous.  I was horrified I didn't know what on earth he was talking about.  He even found some notes to jab his finger at.  I was getting nervous!  The only thing I knew of was the one application.  So I showed him what I did know.  I was probably somewhat angry by then.  When he saw the right screen, he said "THERE! THAT is the viewer!"  Because it said security log, I guess I was the confused one.  It got worse.  He then wanted me to show him how to do what he was supposed to show me how to do.  Boy, if that is a confusing sentence to read, think of my bafflement at showing him what he knew!  I could only shake my head.  I said, "But I don't know how to do that.  I thought you were going to show me?"  Well, I guess I said this "intimidatingly" because he said "Oh sure, why do you ALWAYS have to rub my NOSE in it if I don't KNOW something?"  Oh good God.  Really.  Really?  "Rod, I am really confused, I'm not trying to rub your nose in anything!"  "Well, I am feeling PERSECUTED!"  "Rod, you said you knew how to do this, and I thought this meeting was to show ME how! I'm sorry you feel persecuted, I really didn't mean for it to be like that!"  He got up, and started leaving.  (yay!)  "Well, my feelings are MY FEELINGS and YOU can't CHANGE that."  "Okay, um Rod?  Do you want me to figure out how to do this then?"  "YES!  That is WHY I came OVER in the FIRST place."  Poor poor Rod.  In his brain, he must really really be confused.

And then... And then we found the Benedryl, newly opened, in his desk.  It explained all of the recent confusion, the slowness to answer, and even the crankiness as he repeated back what we had already said.  Nothing like combining medical marijuana and Benedryl.  Sigh.

Because I am who I am, I couldn't handle the guilt of Rod feeling "persecuted."  So after Rod left for lunch, I put together a few candies I have in my desk and wrote out a note to him that said I was sorry for my recent churlish behavior and thanked him for trying to understand.

He was tickled when he saw his surprise.  When he read the note, he was down right giddy! He asked if he could kiss me.  I said "I'm not sure what to say to that.  If I say 'yes,' I'll get in trouble at home. If I say 'no,' I might offend you!"  He said that answer was good enough.  And he laughed.  I think I could hear tears welling up.  Anyway, he finished up what he was doing, talked about the liquor store, and was out of the office by 2. Woot!

So, I win.  I got to see Rod squirm like the worm he is and I got him to leave for the day.  In a good mood, at that.  Not too bad for this chilly, chilly Friday.

Holy SMOKES!  That's right!  It's FRIDAY!  I'm outta he---

Eye Tee Girl

Life is like a box of cigarettes

Sooner or later, it's gonna kill you.
 
Sometimes life simply isn't easy.  And my life, right now, just really isn't easy.  I have a family member in the hospital, and I have to work for Rod.  Between those two things, I am close to losing it.  If you follow me on Facebook, then you know it's been crazy at work lately.  (Add EyeTee Grrl on FB if you want to follow me, or www.twitter.com/eyeteegirl)

Now, the weird thing is, Rod has been weirdly nice lately.  These ups and downs of his are really starting to make me wonder who is truly the confusing gender.

So, apologies to those of you who rely on my blog daily for good cheer; my SO's father is in the hospital right now, and in our attempt to get to the hospital before rush hour yesterday, I didn't have time to post.  So I'll jump right back in the seat.

Just the other day, Rod noticed my engagement ring.  I wear it every day, and have worn it every day since it was presented to me.  I said "Yes, isn't it pretty?"  Rod actually engaged in conversation to discuss its merits.  I was kinda weirded out by the idea that he was admiring something on my body, so I didn't really want to continue the conversation, but there you have it.  After nearly two months of working here, Rod finally noticed the engagement ring.  Hmm.  Go figure.

Rod gets upset whenever cars aren't where they are supposed to be in the parking lot.  Let's say you forgot something, and you dashed in to get it - leaving the car idling half way out of your spot.  Rod will hunt you down and ask you to remedy the situation.  Sometimes, he will even yell in the middle of the parking lot if someone has a delivery truck sitting there (while a delivery is being made).  Mind you, this is all regardless of the fact that he can still get a parking place, and people can still get in and out of the lot just fine.  No, it's a principle thing for him.  Take yesterday for instance.  A gentleman parked in between two spots (taking up both spots) and dashed in for what was (to me) obviously a quick hello type conversation.  Now, I guess we'd all agree it's not really fair to take your half out of the middle, and we all bitch about the people who take up two spots when spots are tight, but there was a stall open 2.5 car stalls down from this particular incident, and several on the other side of the lot.  No big deal.  For most of us.  Rod, on the other hand... Had to go hunt this fellow down and inform him of his discontent.  I'm not sure what was said, but after about 45 seconds, Rod reappeared and walked away (we're not sure where he went). Approximately 30 seconds after that, the gentleman reappeared.  He moved his car, and trotted back in to finish his conversation with the neighbors.  When Rod returned from his jaunt, he waltzed in and started working again.  He did not, at any time, take one of the two spots now vacant.  For two more hours he worked that day, and did not take one of the now empty stalls.  Sigh.  I think Rod has an overwhelming need to be right.  And here I thought that was my job description in life!

Not long after that, Rod asked me if I texted.  I said yes.  There was no further communication on the subject.  (I wasn't about to ask why he wanted to know.)

Before he left yesterday, Rod cheerily said he'd had a "Wonderful day of ... [silence] ... SHARing."  I couldn't help myself.  "Sharing, Rod?"  "YES! SHARING of um... [silence] ... um ... CHRIStmas spirit."  Okaaaaay.

Apparently, a call came in for Dave this morning.  Rod answered, all I could hear was his side of the conversation:  "May I say who's calling?.... Can I ask what this is regarding?.... mmmmferf WELL he no longer works here."  Click.  Polite professionalism at its best.

Rod has been coughing all day.  A very dry cough.  And it's starting to put my nerves (and suspicions of sickness) on edge.  He coughed again.  "Hey, so, um, do you need some water or something for that cough?"  "Oh, no, I'm alright.  I have started taking MEDIcal mariJUANA again, and it afFECTS me the next day."  Oh, brother.  Is that what he is calling it?  Whatever.  The rest of us call it partying.
 
So, as usual, a 5 minute meeting turned into 45+ today.  One of the points of that meeting?  I even told him I was writing it down.  (Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.  And my job.)  "We are sensitive only to Rod's needs.  NOBODY ELSE'S."  This is in response to my request for him to email me the details of a report he wanted me to run.  "I'll never remember all this, can you email me all the details you want, so I can--" His reply was loud and gruff.  "NO!  I will NOT email it to you!"  "But, Rod, I would really like to have it in writing so I can go back to what you want--" Again, "NO! I don't care what you want."  Hrrmmm.  "So, the needs of others don't matter?  Just your needs?"  His reply still lifts my eyebrows:  "That's right."  Alrighty.  Whatever you want, boss.  Un.. be.. liev... able.  Now, instead of poor, poor Rod, I'm thinking... Poor, poor Rod's girlfriend.
 
At another point, he said something to the effect that anyone here could do my job, and do it better, and do it faster.  And he said it with a sneer while he wagged his head in a way that was incredibly arrogant.  I said "Wow, can you be any ruder right now?"  (I really did say that).  His reply was honest, at least.  "No!"  I said, "Actually, I bet you could be ruder, but let's not test it."  He thought that was funny.  I didn't.
 
He ended the conversation by hemming and hawing.  I said "Just say it, whatever it is."  He told me he didn't think I'd like it.  I just rolled my eyes with my head down so he couldn't see.  I don't like anything he says, I thought.  But he finally got it out:  "I want you to cc me on all emails to all developers and to all customers."  I laughed and said "Okay, Rod, no problem.  And you don't consider this micro-managing, right?"  (He'd once complained to me others have said he's a micro manager).  He said, "NO! It's not micromanaging.  That's just YOUR OPINION."  That's right, boss, it is.  My perception, my reality.  Now, go away.  And he did.
 
Our land lord came in today to check on things.  We have a light out and a heater on the fritz.  So we told him, and the dude was cool about it all.  Then Rod some something most peculiar (no surprise there, I suppose.)  He said "So, when you get your shorts on, you can come fix this light."  The land lord and I looked at each other quizzically.  I repeated, "When you have your shorts on?"  He just shrugged and said, "Well, I can always come back in July, or August?"  We laughed.  Rod didn't.  He was too busy showing the land lord where the bulbs were. 

Wait a minute.  We have the bulbs here?  He wants the land lord to do the dirty work?  (Again, the 4 year old trying to weasel out of chores).  What a lameass. He can't change his own bulbs?! I work for an immoral (or is that amoral?), lazy lameass.  Can't wait to tell the folks all about my great job when we get together over Christmas... 

That is, if I even get the day off.

Eye Tee Girl

EXTRA ! EXTRA !

So, apparently, Rod wanted Jen to move to a commission only type of pay.  She nixed that idea!  Good girl!  But it doesn't bode well for the future of my full time employment, either!
Anyone hiring IT folks right now?


Eye Tee Girl

Patience is actually more of a curse

The more patient you are with a person, the more they take advantage of you.  So while it may also be a virtue, I think the people who were writing quotable quotes did not take Rod into consideration.  It's really more of a curse.
 
Rod just cannot get the name of our customer's son correct.  Every single time, he asks how Kyle is, and every single time, the customer has to remind Rod that it is Alex, and that Rod should consult his Goldmine notes.  That just slays me!  Anyway, today was no exception, Rod called up and asked how Kyle was.  Again, he was told to consult his notes. (See?  Patience just doesn't work)  Rod cleared his throat.  "AHERREUMMM!  Yes, why, see?  That's just RUDE and INCONSIDERATE of me!"  And then, this is where Rod started rambling.  I'm not sure why, maybe he actually felt badly for getting the name wrong?  Anyway, he rambled on like this:  "You know, I've been a little disTRACTed lately, what with the GUNMAN on the loose here today."  Then a pause as he waited for the appropriate inquiry that was sure to follow.  Oddly enough, Rod didn't actually talk about the 4 policemen who were shot down in cold blood, no... he took a different tact and said that a shooter was on the loose for "TWO DAYS now," even tho it was really only 1 day.  He then continued on, saying that this happened in Tacoma (it happened in Lakewood) and then mentioned the Arco refinery that's down there that processes some really "potent stuff."  He couldn't think of what was produced.  I think he's referring to the Asarco copper melting plant that produced sulfur gases, which us locals know as the "Aroma of Tacoma."  Of course, Rod didn't mention that.  No, he went on to say that he thinks those fumes (which were eliminated years ago) must be making him "tipsy," and therefore can't remember names correctly anymore.  (Should I point out that the distance between Kenmore and Tacoma is quite considerable and that nobody has ever complained of smelling the Tacoma sulfur smell up here?)  Poor, poor Rod.

Rod sighs.  Loudly.  At least every 10 minutes. 

If he doesn't sigh, he says "SHIT!"

Almost daily, I have to hear him get a virus warning.  This is because he opens any piece of email that comes to his Yahoo mailbox.  And trust me, there are some nasty things that come into a Yahoo mailbox.  I'm a female who has never solicited internet sex or anything even remotely sexual, and yet still, just this morning, I got an email telling me I could take a pill that (to paraphrase) would give me a ... ahem... a rooster, shall we say? Large enough to knock down trees.  Now, I don't have a C--, er, Rooster, and speaking from the female perspective, I wouldn't want my man to have one large enough to knock down trees, either. That just sounds downright painful.  Now, back to my story, if even I get emails about sex, you can bet Rod gets them by the bucketful.  So when I hear that virus siren go off, I know exactly what Rod is looking at and clicking on.  All together now: Ewwww!  Ick factor +8.

Despite putting a sign up on the bathroom door, Rod is still unable to wash his hands after going number 1.  Now, I realize boys get to stand when they pee, but still, I know where they have to put that hand, and from what I know of boys, they should wash that hand every time it touches something down there, even if they "didn't get any pee on it!"  All together now:  Ewwww!  Ick factor +5.

Oh no!  This just in!  Rod has taken Jennifer outside for a private talk!  Please, everyone, think good thoughts for her!  I must cease and desist my blogging until they return!  


Eye Tee Girl