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Shhh... Don't say this too loud, but I think things have quieted down a little bit today. Rod must be feeling guilty, or just plain worn out, after the hell day he put us through yesterday.
Rod greeted me this morning with a personal story, he said, because he likes SHARING. Oh, the joy that flooded my body upon hearing that... probably couldn't be called joy. Anyway, he then proceeded to tell me (quite proudly) that he shaved this morning with a straight edge razor. Something, apparently, he hasn't done in over 20 years. Are you kidding me? Twenty years?? No wonder this man has trouble keeping a girlfriend if he can't bother with a close shave for a first date. And why did he feel the need to share this with me? Ick Factor +1.
Rod came running over to me in a tizzy about an install that was scheduled for "today." He kept making references to something I hadn't seen in the calendar, so I double checked. "Um, Rod? We aren't installing that product today, or with that person. We are installing this instead, with this other person." I leaned away so he could see my monitor and what I was looking at. "Yes, AHEERMMMM KATIE! That is because you are looking at the FOURTH. Discreetly, I looked at my watch (which confirmed it was the fourth), then I looked at my Windows date and time (which confirmed it was the fourth), and lastly, I looked at the calendar (which confirmed it was the fourth) "Um, Rod? Today is the fourth. See?" Again, I leaned away to the side to show him the date. He looked like he didn't know if he could trust me. Was I trapping him? I decided to be helpful. "Remember? This weekend was Halloween? That's why there's candy on the desk over there?" All of a sudden, you could see it hit him. He didn't say a word. Then, he stammered something and left. (Katie 1, Rod 0)
Did you know squirrels eat Christmas lights that are up in outdoor trees? I had no idea! Imagine the hilarity of a story someone could tell you about her mom and dad trapping squirrels in little eco-friendly squirrel traps and then setting them free outside of town... all to protect their lighted Christmas display! Well, I was just about to be highly entertained by the punchline to this story, when, from out of nowhere, a bark from Rod. "CAN YOU GIRLS take this somePLACE ELSE?" So I said "I'm sorry, we'll keep it down." So Jennifer began again, more quietly. "THAT'S not my POINT. Can't you take this OUTside or SOMEthing?" We exchanged a look that Rod could not see. It was something like 40 F out there! No way! I pointed out to Rod we hardly ever even take breaks, is it really such a big deal if we finished the story now? "Well, then TAKE a WALK to the COFFEE SHOP or something." Wow, really? What a odd duck he is. Especially in light of how loud his conversations are with his brothers or friends, discussing everything from politics to girls or gambling. We put up with inappropriate comments about things like Jack Jews, and we can't share a humorous story about a squirrel eating a string of Christmas lights? For the love of Pete, this guy is really getting on my bad side.
So I'm having trouble accessing our FTP site (I need to upload some files) and I told Rod as much. I asked for the contact info to call support for the company that hosts our site. "Ohhh I'd RATHER I contacted support. I need to introDUce you to them." Okay, whatever. Three hours later, Rod comes up to me and says "Yeah, so I'm LEAVing for a while, and we need that website WORKing, so if you could just CONTACT support, that would work." Are you kidding me? This is what I wanted to do three hours ago. He is a pain. I could have had the files uploaded and had the site done by now. Painful sigh. (Katie 2, Rod 0)
Rod likes randomly moving my jacket. I put it on the back of the spare chair in my cubicle. But then inevitably, Rod will come in, want to sit on that chair, and will feel compelled to move it. Each time he has moved it, he has put it in a different place. Here are the places I have found it: On my desk. On the desk in the neighboring (empty) cubicle. Hanging up on the neighboring, empty cubicle wall. Draped over the arm of my chair. Placed next to the plant/water station. Everytime I find it somewhere new, I put it right back where it was. (Ick Factor +3 that Rod is touching my clothing). Today, he actually asked about it "Where should I put this?" as he started heading over towards his cubicle. "Um, how about on the chair like this?" I was panicked! I did not want my clothing anywhere near his cube! So I took it and I placed it exactly as it had been and gestured (okay, so I was being somewhat facetious at this point) that he had a nice big spot on the chair to rest his keister. He said that he wasn't comfortable like that, and again picked it up. He began placing it on the empty cubicle wall again. I pointed out then (Some mice just aren't fun to toy with for too long) that he could hang it from my cubicle wall. Despite his initial confusion about what I was saying, he eventually figured it out. Yay, Rod!
I think Rod tries hard, but, well, he just wasn't dealt a winning poker hand, y'know? Poor, poor Rod.
As I said, today is a quiet one. Hopefully these few stories will give you something to chuckle about.
Until next time, Readers! Don't forget, I am now on Facebook (EyeTee Grrl) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/eyeteegirl), so you can get updates and see comments that don't show up here!
Eye Tee Girl
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Got Crabs? Part II
The second half of the day yesterday, while not as explosive, was still nonetheless exciting.
(One thing to remember when reading this blog... Rod speaks incredibly slowly. And then blares out some words, almost like his throat clearing. Sometime I will have to record him so you, the reader, can also hear him. You would understand then why some of his standard lectures are so incredibly tiresome to deal with.)
Shortly after I blogged yesterday, Rod focused his attention on Jennifer. Poor girl. I'm not really at all sure what he said to her, since most of the time Rod starts sentences, but rarely finishes them. I did, however, manage to glean a few things from their conversation:
1. She is to start making 50 calls. Hmm. A day? A week? A month? It wasn't clear to me, either.
2. Rod tried to communicate with Jennifer, exactly as he did with me: "I am HEARing what you are SAYing. Then I am going to rePEAT it BACK to you, and you can TELL me if what I am HEARing is correct" Now, Rod, if you could just stop interrupting people to "repeat" what you are "hearing" you might actually get the "whole" story.
3. Rod is upset about not getting more sales. This line really put my back up, and I almost had to intercede on Jennifer's behalf in his one-way, heated exchange: "Dammit! I give you this ... huge list of leads, and what do..." Sigh. Another sentence started and never finished by Rod.
4. Rod: "I don't care about you! Who do you think I care about!?!"
Jennifer: "I can't read your mind, Rod, I have no idea." (Oh, snap!
Good one, Jen!)
5. Rod gave Jennifer one of his standard lectures about responsibility and how to follow up, how to document, etc. He said, "If I'm being responsible with an account, even with a call I did not participate in, I would read all the call notes." And then, the disbelief clear in his tone, "Did YOU do that?" Jennifer's "yes," may have been quiet but the eyes must have relayed her conviction (and lightning bolts by this point, I'm sure). He replied "Oh, yes, see? [silence] You are ... being... um... RESPONSIBLE... then." Whatever.
Anyway, his anger over... something... that day really REALLY came out on Jennifer's head. He was yelling, cursing, and, dare I say it? Pulling his unkempt, dirty, curly hair out. I was sick listening to it. (A shout out here, Thanks to my friend "Penelope," who helped me hang in there yesterday.)
Other gems I collected yesterday:
While on the phone with a customer (the best lines always start this way, don't they?) out of the blue, he asks "Are you a Roman Catholic? A Methodist? Maybe a Jack Jew?" Oh for pity's SAKE Rod, don't talk religion or politics, with anyone, much less customers! And Jack Jew? WTF is that? Obviously, I'm not up to par on my ethnic or religious slurs.)
His electric razor broke (I told you so!), and this is why he was frustrated and taking it out on us. Seriously? Your RAZOR was to blame for your anger? Lame.
He thinks almost all his customers are stupid. I know of only 2 (yes, 2) who he may think are as smart as he is.
Rod likes to say things like "Because I'm dumb" to get pity. It doesn't work after the first time he says it. Sometimes, not even the first time.
Well, I will cut this one off for now, I hit the high, er, lowlights and we are working on gathering notes for today already.
Thanks for reading, everyone!
ETG
(One thing to remember when reading this blog... Rod speaks incredibly slowly. And then blares out some words, almost like his throat clearing. Sometime I will have to record him so you, the reader, can also hear him. You would understand then why some of his standard lectures are so incredibly tiresome to deal with.)
Shortly after I blogged yesterday, Rod focused his attention on Jennifer. Poor girl. I'm not really at all sure what he said to her, since most of the time Rod starts sentences, but rarely finishes them. I did, however, manage to glean a few things from their conversation:
1. She is to start making 50 calls. Hmm. A day? A week? A month? It wasn't clear to me, either.
2. Rod tried to communicate with Jennifer, exactly as he did with me: "I am HEARing what you are SAYing. Then I am going to rePEAT it BACK to you, and you can TELL me if what I am HEARing is correct" Now, Rod, if you could just stop interrupting people to "repeat" what you are "hearing" you might actually get the "whole" story.
3. Rod is upset about not getting more sales. This line really put my back up, and I almost had to intercede on Jennifer's behalf in his one-way, heated exchange: "Dammit! I give you this ... huge list of leads, and what do..." Sigh. Another sentence started and never finished by Rod.
4. Rod: "I don't care about you! Who do you think I care about!?!"
Jennifer: "I can't read your mind, Rod, I have no idea." (Oh, snap!
Good one, Jen!)
5. Rod gave Jennifer one of his standard lectures about responsibility and how to follow up, how to document, etc. He said, "If I'm being responsible with an account, even with a call I did not participate in, I would read all the call notes." And then, the disbelief clear in his tone, "Did YOU do that?" Jennifer's "yes," may have been quiet but the eyes must have relayed her conviction (and lightning bolts by this point, I'm sure). He replied "Oh, yes, see? [silence] You are ... being... um... RESPONSIBLE... then." Whatever.
Anyway, his anger over... something... that day really REALLY came out on Jennifer's head. He was yelling, cursing, and, dare I say it? Pulling his unkempt, dirty, curly hair out. I was sick listening to it. (A shout out here, Thanks to my friend "Penelope," who helped me hang in there yesterday.)
Other gems I collected yesterday:
While on the phone with a customer (the best lines always start this way, don't they?) out of the blue, he asks "Are you a Roman Catholic? A Methodist? Maybe a Jack Jew?" Oh for pity's SAKE Rod, don't talk religion or politics, with anyone, much less customers! And Jack Jew? WTF is that? Obviously, I'm not up to par on my ethnic or religious slurs.)
His electric razor broke (I told you so!), and this is why he was frustrated and taking it out on us. Seriously? Your RAZOR was to blame for your anger? Lame.
He thinks almost all his customers are stupid. I know of only 2 (yes, 2) who he may think are as smart as he is.
Rod likes to say things like "Because I'm dumb" to get pity. It doesn't work after the first time he says it. Sometimes, not even the first time.
Well, I will cut this one off for now, I hit the high, er, lowlights and we are working on gathering notes for today already.
Thanks for reading, everyone!
ETG
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Got Crabs?
Holy SMOKES Rod is crabby today! Watch out! And bring firewood if you want to fan the flames. Apparently, I brought a whole truckload, because I just can't stop myself from throwing one log on the fire after another...
Let me establish up front I have never done sales, I'm not a sales person, and I don't have a strong desire to be one. It's just not me. I'm techie! Maybe I have established this already? Anyway, I don't use Goldmine, and never have. From what I know of it, I hope to never use it again. For instance, there is actually a difference between a "Scheduled Call" and a "Call Appointment" - and here's me, all along, using the terms interchangeably. BAD EYE TEE GIRL!! I'm sure you can see what is coming, right? A normal person, upon realizing a miscommunication of this nature would probably define the difference between the two. For instance, I would say to you, dear reader, something like this: "A Scheduled Call means that there is some issue outstanding with the customer, and you need to get in touch with them to resolve it... there is no definite time frame. But an Appointment Call, means there is an actual scheduled time to do something, like say, Thursday at 10am. Of the two, it is Appointments which show up in the calendar." Now, I might even throw in something slightly humorous to help avoid future confusion, such as, "Don't ask me why they chose to use the word 'scheduled call' when it's not really scheduled at all! But then, they didn't consult me when they were deciding on the semantics for their software!!"
That being said, I don't even think I can come close to describing the maggots' nest we unearthed when I figured out I was confusing the two terms. Rod couldn't once give me a solid description of the difference, and all he could do was interrupt me over and over as I tried to establish the difference. In fact, the gem I got from the "conversation" was what Rod said: "I am trying to comMUNicate right now." As opposed to when you usually speak, Rod? "I am HEARing what you are SAYing. Then I am going to rePEAT it BACK to you, and you can TELL me if what I am HEARing is correct." I think that was really, honestly, the only full sentence he uttered.
Again today, Rod said that I didn't send him some emails. I got more direct this time in my reply and said "I did send it to you, but thanks for the insult." Water off a duck's back. No apology was forth-coming (no, I wasn't expecting one in the least). I tried several times to get him to hit F5 to pull up his mail box, instead of accessing his email however he does (however he does it seems to 'block' my email, so I thought I would give him an alternative to try. Damn those rose-colored glasses!) At that point, he told me that they have had known issues with the computer I use not sending email reliably. Jennifer tried to help Rod (her mistake) by saying "That's right! We did--" Rod is soooo rude! Loud enough to actually hurt my left ear, he said "That's FINE, JENNIFER! We don't need you PIPING UP over there. Just pay attention to what YOU are working on." She tried again. "I know that computer..." "FINE JENNIFER" and when she kept up, Rod muttered under his breath "fuck off" then "just shut up, shit!" Holy SMOKES that ticked me off. Wow. Although she couldn't hear what Rod had just said, Jennifer didn't back down. (Good girl!) Instead, she came face to face with Rod and stated: "I'm only saying that the computer she is using has had a lot of problems, it was really bad about sending emails out!" She was actually defending him! And he treated her like dirt! This did not impress me and reflected very poorly on him. Think I'll go out of my way in the future to defend him at at any time? Nope. No way, José.
On Friday, Rod asked Jennifer to print out something and leave it on her desk for him to review if he came in on Sunday. She did this. On Monday, Rod impatiently asked her where it was, and when she told him as she was reaching for it, he said "Why did I have to ASK you for this?" Rod, do us a favor? Go stay in your cubicle until you can be civil again, ok?
Here are some other quickies:
Rod will randomly say "shit" in his cubicle with no explanation. Go figure.
While on a call with Premera Blue Cross insurance, Rod started talking politics (die hard conservative that he is, it always goes over well on Jennifer and me). This time, he started saying something about how Hillary was saying she will be changing the insurance industry. Um, Hillary, Rod? Try again. Hillary works internationally... I think maybe you mean Obama, Congress, or even lawmakers? The things he utters wouldn't be so bad if what he said didn't reflect so poorly on Jennifer and I. Sad sigh.
Here is how Rod wants to send out an email to hundreds of pre-existing customers to announce an upgrade: "Since so many fixes make a like on Release Notes to another page make new CP Report #1 on list" Hmm. Let me get right on that, boss man!
The day is not even half way done, and my blog for the day is full of mystery, action, and vulgar language. I can hardly wait for the second half of the day!
Farewell, readers, and wish me luck!
Eye Tee Girl
Let me establish up front I have never done sales, I'm not a sales person, and I don't have a strong desire to be one. It's just not me. I'm techie! Maybe I have established this already? Anyway, I don't use Goldmine, and never have. From what I know of it, I hope to never use it again. For instance, there is actually a difference between a "Scheduled Call" and a "Call Appointment" - and here's me, all along, using the terms interchangeably. BAD EYE TEE GIRL!! I'm sure you can see what is coming, right? A normal person, upon realizing a miscommunication of this nature would probably define the difference between the two. For instance, I would say to you, dear reader, something like this: "A Scheduled Call means that there is some issue outstanding with the customer, and you need to get in touch with them to resolve it... there is no definite time frame. But an Appointment Call, means there is an actual scheduled time to do something, like say, Thursday at 10am. Of the two, it is Appointments which show up in the calendar." Now, I might even throw in something slightly humorous to help avoid future confusion, such as, "Don't ask me why they chose to use the word 'scheduled call' when it's not really scheduled at all! But then, they didn't consult me when they were deciding on the semantics for their software!!"
That being said, I don't even think I can come close to describing the maggots' nest we unearthed when I figured out I was confusing the two terms. Rod couldn't once give me a solid description of the difference, and all he could do was interrupt me over and over as I tried to establish the difference. In fact, the gem I got from the "conversation" was what Rod said: "I am trying to comMUNicate right now." As opposed to when you usually speak, Rod? "I am HEARing what you are SAYing. Then I am going to rePEAT it BACK to you, and you can TELL me if what I am HEARing is correct." I think that was really, honestly, the only full sentence he uttered.
Again today, Rod said that I didn't send him some emails. I got more direct this time in my reply and said "I did send it to you, but thanks for the insult." Water off a duck's back. No apology was forth-coming (no, I wasn't expecting one in the least). I tried several times to get him to hit F5 to pull up his mail box, instead of accessing his email however he does (however he does it seems to 'block' my email, so I thought I would give him an alternative to try. Damn those rose-colored glasses!) At that point, he told me that they have had known issues with the computer I use not sending email reliably. Jennifer tried to help Rod (her mistake) by saying "That's right! We did--" Rod is soooo rude! Loud enough to actually hurt my left ear, he said "That's FINE, JENNIFER! We don't need you PIPING UP over there. Just pay attention to what YOU are working on." She tried again. "I know that computer..." "FINE JENNIFER" and when she kept up, Rod muttered under his breath "fuck off" then "just shut up, shit!" Holy SMOKES that ticked me off. Wow. Although she couldn't hear what Rod had just said, Jennifer didn't back down. (Good girl!) Instead, she came face to face with Rod and stated: "I'm only saying that the computer she is using has had a lot of problems, it was really bad about sending emails out!" She was actually defending him! And he treated her like dirt! This did not impress me and reflected very poorly on him. Think I'll go out of my way in the future to defend him at at any time? Nope. No way, José.
On Friday, Rod asked Jennifer to print out something and leave it on her desk for him to review if he came in on Sunday. She did this. On Monday, Rod impatiently asked her where it was, and when she told him as she was reaching for it, he said "Why did I have to ASK you for this?" Rod, do us a favor? Go stay in your cubicle until you can be civil again, ok?
Here are some other quickies:
Rod will randomly say "shit" in his cubicle with no explanation. Go figure.
While on a call with Premera Blue Cross insurance, Rod started talking politics (die hard conservative that he is, it always goes over well on Jennifer and me). This time, he started saying something about how Hillary was saying she will be changing the insurance industry. Um, Hillary, Rod? Try again. Hillary works internationally... I think maybe you mean Obama, Congress, or even lawmakers? The things he utters wouldn't be so bad if what he said didn't reflect so poorly on Jennifer and I. Sad sigh.
Here is how Rod wants to send out an email to hundreds of pre-existing customers to announce an upgrade: "Since so many fixes make a like on Release Notes to another page make new CP Report #1 on list" Hmm. Let me get right on that, boss man!
The day is not even half way done, and my blog for the day is full of mystery, action, and vulgar language. I can hardly wait for the second half of the day!
Farewell, readers, and wish me luck!
Eye Tee Girl
Monday, November 2, 2009
Now on Facebook!
Please add EyeTee Grrl to your friends list in Facebook! You'll get status updates and blog info directly! ( http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=100000438145687 )
I get paid for this?
Wow, all this, and I get paid, too! Amazing!
So the party on Friday was actually quite eventful! Our neighbors next door came over, and had even brought beers with them. My kinda party goers! Everyone had one, except Jennifer, who always does things the proper way. I respect that, actually (but I still enjoyed the suds!)
While we were all sitting around, chewing the fat, we were discussing things like "Tell us the scariest thing that has ever happened to you," and catching up on recent history. Somehow, Rod got an idea in his brain, and while one of our fellow partiers was in the middle of a sentence, Rod quite loudly blurts out "Hey, you want some DOPE?" Everyone ignored him, but my eyes popped open. Had Rod just said what I think he said? I waited for the conversation to lull, dread making my heart thud and time drag by slowly. Sure enough, the minute there was a pause, Rod chimes in "Hey, you guys wanna smoke a DOOBIE?" Now, the way he said it made me picture him as a hippy with long hair, circa 1972, complete with fringed leather jacket and matching head band. UnREAL! I can't really begin to digest the level of inappropriateness, especially in a semi-professional atmosphere, but even now, I can hardly believe he said what he did. "Wanna smoke a DOOBIE?" Whoa, man, like, far out. Groooovy.
Recently, Rod was trying to "assist" Jennifer with a client. He snagged a copy of the customer's history, and asked Jennifer the status. She replied mildly that the contact is awaiting a list of requirements for their company from their IT Director. When the customer knows what is needed, she will be in touch with information on which application best suits their company. Sounds like Jennifer has everything under control. To you and me, maybe. Not to Rod. Rod said, in an upset tone, "She is WAITing for REQUIREMENTS??!" Here he snorted, actually snorted. "How STUPID is that? How stupid is this person? I mean, if she can't understand that she NEEDS this product, then... Have you... Email her the list of reasons for buying this product!! I mean, we shouldn't even waste our TIME with someone this stupid if they don't even know... " At this point, his words dwindled and he had nothing more to add, I guess. So, he completely switched gears. To Jennifer: "You can't SELL this product by EMAIL, y'know" (Right after telling Jennifer to email the contact) Jennifer politely replied to Rod, letting him know that the customer has specified email contact and replies to her calls via email. Again, she is on top of it, right? Alas, no. She tries again: "Rod, it's just a matter of time while they get the requirements together, then it will close! She is replying to my emails, I know she is interested in the product!" Rod shouted at her: "NO! She could just be trying to be umm... [silence] POLITE!" I think he recognized his own absurdity there. Maybe. Because he again changed gears, perhaps as a cover "You need to double, TRIPLE! the number of calls you make a day!" How Jennifer kept from rolling her eyes at Rod, I'll never know. I certainly was on her behalf.
I now have several different lists I am supposed to be keeping: Questions for the developers (each developer has a separate doc, of course), questions I have about processes here, questions I have if I run into problems using any of the products (a separate doc for each application, not to be confused with the list for the developers or the FAQ documents), a to-do list, and lastly, a task list (no, I don't know the difference.) All of these lists must be printed by Rod at least once a day and placed on my desk. Sometimes 3 - 5 times isn't sufficient. He likes to print things. A LOT.
Rod wants to include Jennifer's picture, as well as mine, in emails that we send out. As he put it, our faces will help sell the product. I told him I was not comfortable with that unless he sent out his picture as well to potential clients. He didn't seem as keen on that idea. I wonder why.
Well, it's been a quiet day here today, but have faith, it'll pick up again tomorrow.
Eye Tee Girl
So the party on Friday was actually quite eventful! Our neighbors next door came over, and had even brought beers with them. My kinda party goers! Everyone had one, except Jennifer, who always does things the proper way. I respect that, actually (but I still enjoyed the suds!)
While we were all sitting around, chewing the fat, we were discussing things like "Tell us the scariest thing that has ever happened to you," and catching up on recent history. Somehow, Rod got an idea in his brain, and while one of our fellow partiers was in the middle of a sentence, Rod quite loudly blurts out "Hey, you want some DOPE?" Everyone ignored him, but my eyes popped open. Had Rod just said what I think he said? I waited for the conversation to lull, dread making my heart thud and time drag by slowly. Sure enough, the minute there was a pause, Rod chimes in "Hey, you guys wanna smoke a DOOBIE?" Now, the way he said it made me picture him as a hippy with long hair, circa 1972, complete with fringed leather jacket and matching head band. UnREAL! I can't really begin to digest the level of inappropriateness, especially in a semi-professional atmosphere, but even now, I can hardly believe he said what he did. "Wanna smoke a DOOBIE?" Whoa, man, like, far out. Groooovy.
Recently, Rod was trying to "assist" Jennifer with a client. He snagged a copy of the customer's history, and asked Jennifer the status. She replied mildly that the contact is awaiting a list of requirements for their company from their IT Director. When the customer knows what is needed, she will be in touch with information on which application best suits their company. Sounds like Jennifer has everything under control. To you and me, maybe. Not to Rod. Rod said, in an upset tone, "She is WAITing for REQUIREMENTS??!" Here he snorted, actually snorted. "How STUPID is that? How stupid is this person? I mean, if she can't understand that she NEEDS this product, then... Have you... Email her the list of reasons for buying this product!! I mean, we shouldn't even waste our TIME with someone this stupid if they don't even know... " At this point, his words dwindled and he had nothing more to add, I guess. So, he completely switched gears. To Jennifer: "You can't SELL this product by EMAIL, y'know" (Right after telling Jennifer to email the contact) Jennifer politely replied to Rod, letting him know that the customer has specified email contact and replies to her calls via email. Again, she is on top of it, right? Alas, no. She tries again: "Rod, it's just a matter of time while they get the requirements together, then it will close! She is replying to my emails, I know she is interested in the product!" Rod shouted at her: "NO! She could just be trying to be umm... [silence] POLITE!" I think he recognized his own absurdity there. Maybe. Because he again changed gears, perhaps as a cover "You need to double, TRIPLE! the number of calls you make a day!" How Jennifer kept from rolling her eyes at Rod, I'll never know. I certainly was on her behalf.
I now have several different lists I am supposed to be keeping: Questions for the developers (each developer has a separate doc, of course), questions I have about processes here, questions I have if I run into problems using any of the products (a separate doc for each application, not to be confused with the list for the developers or the FAQ documents), a to-do list, and lastly, a task list (no, I don't know the difference.) All of these lists must be printed by Rod at least once a day and placed on my desk. Sometimes 3 - 5 times isn't sufficient. He likes to print things. A LOT.
Rod wants to include Jennifer's picture, as well as mine, in emails that we send out. As he put it, our faces will help sell the product. I told him I was not comfortable with that unless he sent out his picture as well to potential clients. He didn't seem as keen on that idea. I wonder why.
Well, it's been a quiet day here today, but have faith, it'll pick up again tomorrow.
Eye Tee Girl
Friday, October 30, 2009
Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween, everyone!
Well, it's that time of week, again, everyone! IT'S FRIDAY! Thank the Great Pumpkin! Boy, do I have some doozies for you today! They've been coming in faster than I can type 'em up! (And I even have leftovers!)
Not more than 20 minutes ago, Rod told me I hadn't responded to an email, nor had I sent him a file he requested. Since I had done both, I responded accordingly "Yes I did, sir! I can forward my responses to you again--" "Well, you didn't cc me on them!" "Oh, yes I did, sir!" Then I heard something viciously muttered from the other side of cubicle wall. My mouth dropped open. My blood pressure went up. Oh no he did-unt! "Um, did you just call BULLSHIT on me?" That got him quiet. Until he decided to put more fuel on the fire: "That's okay, I don't NEED that information. I have BIGGER fish to fry!" Well, fry is an apt word, for sure. His attitude is really starting to FRY my hiney, for sure. Then, just now: "So uhh, I STILL didn't get that file" Now, this time, I had covered my patootie and also cc'd Jennifer, who confirmed almost immediately that she had received the document and was able to view it. So I relayed as much to Rod. By now, I was downright angry. That's not always easy to accomplish, but he got me there in record time in this instance. "Well, then, uhhhhhh I guess my computer is configured differently because I can't SEEEEEE it." My comeback was terse. "Well don't call bullshit on me because of the way your computer is configured!" Silence. All I can hear are mouse clicks and scrolls, with an occasional key stroke. Then: "Hey ummmm KATIE... Ummm Open up the G:\" I roll my eyes and do nothing. (Rod never tells you why you should do something first, just tells you WHAT to do, as in this example.) "Now let's seeeeee..." I wait, crankily, impatiently, drumming my fingers silently on the laptop in front of me. "Where could we SAAAAVE that file?" UGH! "ROD! If you wanted this out on the network, why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?" His reply made me feel only a small twinge of guilt. "Because I'm DUMB!" Hrmmf. So I said, "Well, I'd appreciate an honest answer instead of something facetious." His answer was a 2 year-old's whine. "Well I don't knoooooowwww!!" Whatever. Poor, poor Rod.
Here are some quickies from the day:
Today, I'm wearing my softball uniform from a team I played/coached a few years ago. It looks pretty cool, in my opinion. As soon as Rod sees me, he says "Well! My, isn't that CUUUUUUUUTE!" I love it when someone calls my sports uniform "Cute" Then he squinted at my chest and pretended he couldn't read the team name clearly printed on the front of my jersey. Perv. Ick Factor +3. Slime Factor +1. As he was on his way out the door for swimming, he left with this parting shot: "You KNOW, Katie, that ... outfit... isn't very GLAMOROUS." Ugh.
I like to sneeze a lot. Okay, I don't like it, but my nose does it to me. A lot. I've even had coworkers counting my sneezes... I think the high count was 14 once. In a row. Anyway, so I let out three in a row here... Achoo achoo aCHOOO! Rod said "What was THAT?" Oh geez, really? "Um, they're called sneezes." A grunt from him, then: "Well. They are pretty lame sneezes if you ask me!!" "Well, I didn't ask you, Rod." Hey, at least it got people to laugh. I was so cranky by then with the bullshit thing, the uniform insult, that insulting my sneezes (my sneezes, for crying out loud!) put me right up to the edge.
Rod didn't want to take a call from an Aflac salesman because "He doesn't like ducks." Don't ask me if that was a joke or not. I can't tell the difference anymore.
Rod was speaking to a client, and we heard him say "Is she dating someone?...Oh, is that inaPROpriate to ask?... Well, you wouldn't be representing YOURself!" Oh... my... Lord... Someone get this man a gag. Now.
Rod: "Do you spell 'DE-Install' with a hyphen?"
Me: "Uninstall doesn't have a hyphen!!"
Rod (completely missing the point): "Hmmm, rerrmrmm" more muttering....
Me (Caving in) "I suppose it would have a hyphen, since there are two vowels next to each other." (Yeah, if DE-Install was a word)
So, today being the 30th, we are having a Halloween party. Yay us! We've all known for 2 weeks what our potlucking responsibilities are. Me: chilli, Jennifer: cookies, Rod (due to high ick factor, he was limited to sealed foods) so chips and soda. Jennifer and I were worried Rod would forget, so we orchestrated the following:
Jennifer: "What's everyone bringing? I'm bringing cookies! Katie?"
Me: "Oh, I'm brining chilli. No vegetarians, right? Rod, what are you bringing?"
Rod: "Hrrmmrmmm... Let's see. HOT SPINACH SALAD. I'm bringing HOT SPINACH SALAD!"
We were aghast.
Me: "Um, Rod? What is hot spinach salad?"
No answer.
Then, yesterday, he waltzes in after a visit with the neighboring small business, and loudly and proudly announces "The party will begin at TWO tomorrow!" In shock and dismay, I said something to the effect that I will eat at noonish, then party down at two. This started a whole debate about having the party at noon (which is not what I was saying) versus late in the afternoon on a Friday (which I fully support). Suffice it to say, we are now waiting until 2 to eat. Poor, poor us.
An hour passes. Rod, large and in charge, says "I will buy the pizza for tomorrow." Jennifer and I share a silent exchange. When did chilli become pizza, and chips and soda (Or hot spinach salad for that matter!) become pizza for crying out loud?
So there you have it, everyone. Halloween Friday, and it's full of fun treats for your bag. And I bet most of you thought you were too old for trick-r-treating! (Although a follower of this blog is known for saying 'You're never too old for candy!' bless her heart) Have a great, FUN! Halloween this year. Stay safe, get a dez driver if you need one, and enjoy the holiday! (Oh, and be sure to drop the link for this blog in every trick-r-treater's bag you fill tomorrow!)
And for the Mexican followers, Feliz Dia De Los Muertos!
Adios, Amigos!
Eye Tee Girl
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Call on Line 1!
I think I've said it before, but Rod is #1. Especially (only?) in his book. Early this morning, he wanted me to print out my scheduled call report. Now, considering I have no calls scheduled, this seemed like an exercise in futility, but wherever Rod is, there are bound to be exercises in futility. So, despite the fact that I know how to run this report, Rod has to touch my screen (Ick Factor +1) to point to the various icons. Despite the fact I only started a few weeks ago, Rod makes me enter 01.01.04 as the "start" date. Despite the fact that nothing shows up on the report except training sessions (from the past) (that never happened), Rod has me print it out. Lovely. He was muttering something about never knowing what you might find as he was forcing me to print. Somehow, I felt violated. And guilty for the trees I visualized falling, one by one, as the printer greedily sucked up one white page after another. Although, I guess I should feel somewhat better, seeing as though I am now allowed to recycle.
Apparently, Rod really likes phone line #1. In the middle of a call, Rod blurts out so loudly, I can hear it through my headphone "HEY WHO IS ON LINE 1!?" and when informed that a customer had called in for help, waited perhaps 60 seconds. Then: "Are you JUST ABOUT DONE WITH THAT GUY?! I NEED MY AUTO DIALER!" Despite the fact that we were in the middle of helping a customer, Rod was apparently unable (or unwilling) to dial numbers by hand. And I know the customer could hear the cranky question. So Dave and I quickly got off the line and called him back on line 2. Whew! Dialing imposition averted! Sometimes, all I can do is shake my head at this man.
Rod finds it difficult to stay on task. Here is a conversation he had with Jennifer:
"So... List FIVE things that um.... [20 seconds of silence, I timed it]... So we have to SUMMARIZE what we KNOOOOWWW... So what you have to DOOOO [silence] is OPEN this DOCUMENNNNT [silence] but what I'm interested in is what you're going to SAYYYY in the FIRST PARAgraph..."
Now, let me ask you, if Rod had said that to you, would you have any idea what he was asking you to do? List five things? Summarize? Write a paragraph? And he never mentioned a topic for any of those writing styles. I think Jennifer has a tough task in front of her today. Oh, well, the good news is, he'll likely forget he asked her to do anything at all by noon today.
When Rod gets bored, all attention must focus on him, and all activities must cease until he is once again entertained. For instance, back to that same call. Rod started in with Jennifer. "Hey, did you get my email about XYZ?" "Yes, I did." "Well, could you REPLY PLEASE!" (He said please in a way that didn't mean please in the least.) She let him know that she was trying to note the sales calls she was going to make for the day. She politely queried him: "Should I stop doing this, then, to reply to your email?" Or there was the time, on the same call, when Rod asked me what a customer needs to do to perform an upgrade. Because I was on the call, I made a mistake in thinking I could give Rod a short, simple answer. "He needs to back up his database" This was not good enough. I was then told by Rod "WELLLL, I don't underSTAND, if he doesn't have write access to SQL, how will he DO this..." I tried one more time (the perpetual optimist, I suppose) "All he has to do is make a copy of the file" still wasn't good enough. By now, Rod was yelling in his frustration about SQL access and his own confusion, so I reminded him I was on the phone and told him I would help him when I was off the call. Rod muttered crankily, but at least he got quiet and settled down after that.
At some point, I hope Rod realizes that just because he doesn't understand something does not mean those around him are muddled in the same quagmire of confusion. But not just yet... I have more stories left to tell...
I'll be back tomorrow with more tales from the dark side!
Eye Tee Girl
Apparently, Rod really likes phone line #1. In the middle of a call, Rod blurts out so loudly, I can hear it through my headphone "HEY WHO IS ON LINE 1!?" and when informed that a customer had called in for help, waited perhaps 60 seconds. Then: "Are you JUST ABOUT DONE WITH THAT GUY?! I NEED MY AUTO DIALER!" Despite the fact that we were in the middle of helping a customer, Rod was apparently unable (or unwilling) to dial numbers by hand. And I know the customer could hear the cranky question. So Dave and I quickly got off the line and called him back on line 2. Whew! Dialing imposition averted! Sometimes, all I can do is shake my head at this man.
Rod finds it difficult to stay on task. Here is a conversation he had with Jennifer:
"So... List FIVE things that um.... [20 seconds of silence, I timed it]... So we have to SUMMARIZE what we KNOOOOWWW... So what you have to DOOOO [silence] is OPEN this DOCUMENNNNT [silence] but what I'm interested in is what you're going to SAYYYY in the FIRST PARAgraph..."
Now, let me ask you, if Rod had said that to you, would you have any idea what he was asking you to do? List five things? Summarize? Write a paragraph? And he never mentioned a topic for any of those writing styles. I think Jennifer has a tough task in front of her today. Oh, well, the good news is, he'll likely forget he asked her to do anything at all by noon today.
When Rod gets bored, all attention must focus on him, and all activities must cease until he is once again entertained. For instance, back to that same call. Rod started in with Jennifer. "Hey, did you get my email about XYZ?" "Yes, I did." "Well, could you REPLY PLEASE!" (He said please in a way that didn't mean please in the least.) She let him know that she was trying to note the sales calls she was going to make for the day. She politely queried him: "Should I stop doing this, then, to reply to your email?" Or there was the time, on the same call, when Rod asked me what a customer needs to do to perform an upgrade. Because I was on the call, I made a mistake in thinking I could give Rod a short, simple answer. "He needs to back up his database" This was not good enough. I was then told by Rod "WELLLL, I don't underSTAND, if he doesn't have write access to SQL, how will he DO this..." I tried one more time (the perpetual optimist, I suppose) "All he has to do is make a copy of the file" still wasn't good enough. By now, Rod was yelling in his frustration about SQL access and his own confusion, so I reminded him I was on the phone and told him I would help him when I was off the call. Rod muttered crankily, but at least he got quiet and settled down after that.
At some point, I hope Rod realizes that just because he doesn't understand something does not mean those around him are muddled in the same quagmire of confusion. But not just yet... I have more stories left to tell...
I'll be back tomorrow with more tales from the dark side!
Eye Tee Girl
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