These are the times that try men's souls...

Or women's, I'm not being gender-biased when I say that.  But holy moly this place just wears me out.
 
Until about 1 today, it was fairly normal.  Rod took a number of personal calls that interrupted business calls (on the topics of anything from betting to medical conditions).  He spoke so loudly that I had to ask our customer more than once to repeat himself.  I could hear Rod's voice through my headset, "I won the BET!"  Then he took a couple calls where his only response was "I'm sorry, where are you calling from?  *pause*  "Oh, well I only do business with people in the USA."  I can practically see him with one hand over his heart while he salutes with the other!  What a model of patriotism!

At one point, a vendor called and wanted Rod to buy something.  I have no idea what, but Rod didn't want it.  He said several times, he was not interested.  The poor sales lady kept at it, apparently.  I then heard "I don't think your business model is legitimate, that's why!" (he's one to talk!!) and then a pause, then "Listen, honey, I'm just not interested!"  He is one awesome dude.

Then, something curious happened, I guess.  I'm not entirely sure which planets collided, but the resounding smack was impressive.  Jen asked for help with an issue that I couldn't immediately explain.  Being the IT person that I am, I asked her to reboot.  With a fresh boot, things are a lot easier to test from a troubleshooting perspective.  At this point, I guess Rod decided to intervene.  "That crap's not gonna help!  That's not what the problem is!"  I pointed out that I don't know the app all that well, and this is where I have to start.  I asked if he had any better ideas?  Now, perhaps, in retrospect, I could've bitten that last bit back, but this is me, after all.  I don't do well at tongue biting.

There was a short pause, an inhale, and then:  "I dunno!  Reinstalling the goddamn thing would do more than reBOOTING it!"  There it was, just hanging out there.  He cussed at me again.  Now, he didn't curse me directly, per sé, but why does he need to use bad words when addressing me?  So, frankly, I just got mad.  "Don't curse at me, Rod, how many times do I have to ask you?"  I was putting my jacket on to leave (that's the rule we established) when he said, clearly having lost his temper now:  "y'KNOW, dealing with your idioSYNCracies is getting ridiculous."

Oh, brother.

"Asking you to not curse at me is ridiculous?"
"WHAT!? When did I CURSE at you?!!"
No way, really?  "Um, you just said goddamn to me."  Silence.  "Don't you even remember saying that?  You don't even know what you are saying?"  Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't say this calmly, but I didn't say it angrily either.  No, the tone I was going for was "piss him off snide" and I think I accomplished that tone perfectly.  (Ask my fiancé, he'll tell you how good I am at it.) :)

Well, he didn't have much to say to that.  He mustered up an angrily yelled "This is a NEW YEAR!  I'm NOT going to start it off by ARGUING with you!" 

To which I replied, coolly, "It's not an argument, Rod.  You will not treat me like this.  You will not curse at me.  You will be respectful."  Well, he just wanted to yell and yell at me.  I simply stuck to my line.  I was not arguing with him, I was stating the condition for my continued employment there.  I'm not sure he understood me.  He just yelled louder about respect.  I reminded him you don't get respect without giving it.

I was doing my best to get the hell outta Dodge at this point.  I was moving things around in my cubicle, trying to get my thoughts together long enough to get my belongings and not leave anything behind before making my dramatic exit.  I had my calendar, jacket, backpack, phone... Hell, if we'd had a gold fish, I would've grabbed that, too! 

And then Jen made a suicidal kamikaze dive at my cubicle.  I'm still not sure what drove her to make me stay, but stay I did.

"Katie, I have a couple things I'd like to show you before I reboot."  She mouthed out "Calm down, it's okay," and it helped, but not much.  I was shaking, I was seeing red.  Idiosyncratic to not be cussed at in an office?  Of all the things he does and says, this is the only thing I routinely object to, and he called it an idiosyncracy?!  I don't know the last time I was so angry!

So, I went to help Katie.  Rod couldn't keep quiet, and asked a question that seemed directed at me.  I allowed at least 60 seconds of silence to go by.  I said "I assume you are talking to Jen because I am not in the building any longer."  This is when he decided to play Messenger, like from kindergarten:  "Jen, will you tell Katie blah blah blah"  I interrupted.  "I am helping a friend right now, not a coworker.  I will not speak to you right now."

Wowie Maui.  One head gasket blown, right then and there!

The sound that came from Rod was complete loss of control.  He screeched "LEEEEEEEEEEAVE!!!  You GET OUT OF HERE!  YOU ARE IRRITATING TO WORK WITH!  GET OUT!" Finally, something we agree on, Rod!  But by now, he was charging out of his cubicle at me, a fist in the air.  He pointed at the door.  Startled and a little frightened by the vehemence, I bowed my head.
 
I shrugged at Jen, and apologized.  "Sorry, Jen, I guess I can't help you after all."  With that, I walked quietly out of the office and into the blissful, polluted, noisy, grey, wet... but blessedly peaceful air.  I took respite in a nearby shop while I facebooked my status "Walked out on my boss... Again.  I think I should just stay gone this time."  I called my S.O.  I looked out the window. I sighed.

I smiled.

It wasn't long before Jen called to tell me Rod had left for the day.  Resignedly, I walked back to the office, but it was with my head held high.  Even now, here I sit at the desk, blogging, about the world's worst working environment.  I have applied a thick coat of anti-coldsore medicine and could use a healthy shot of valium, but here I sit, here I'll stay.  Earning one more day's worth of pay, and not caring a scat if there isn't another day.

I have drawn my line, and it is not in shifting sand.

Eye Tee Girl

Back to the Grind

I knew the good times were going to end soon.  I guess I just didn't realize how quickly the cold water would douse me upon entering the office today.  I think it took about 20 minutes.

Especially considering that it seemed Rod was in a good mood.  I received this text on my way in to work today: "Ha.. It has already been interesting.  Rod has a new girlfriend and he gave me a hug!" Eww.  Poor Jen.

Rod was on the phone when I got in.  Well, on hold, to be specific.  With his accounting software company.  Lovely.  I figured that would leave me off the hook for a while! Alas, no.  He first asked me to show him how to close out a fiscal year.  When he didn't want to follow my instructions for completing the wizard that would walk him through this process, I recommended he stay on hold with PeachTree.  Thankfully, this was when they picked up.  He greeted the tech person by saying "I can't get this damn thing to close!"  and then "SHIT!" He then back tracked and explained the problem.  Of course, they walked him through the steps the same way I tried to, and each time he stated unequivocally, "WELL!  I think you're WRONG."  Each time doing it his way, it timed out, and he wanted to end task.  Each time, we both told him to let it run.  Finally the third time, we made him do it our way, and it worked fine.

Now, during this phone call, I think it is important to note, I was multi-tasking, looking for work on Monster.  I found a great job opportunity, and, while keeping one ear on the conversation, I quickly began filling out the form and typing up a cover letter.  Well, Rod didn't like me "keyboarding," not one bit!  "Katie!! Will you STOP THAT and watch EVERYthing on my screen?"  So I stated the truth: "Why, Rod?  You aren't taking my advice anyway, why do I need to watch everything?"  "Well, *I* have to!" he replied.  He sounded like a petulant little boy:  "If I have to, YOU have to!"  Whatever.

So I typed quietly.  And got all my job searching profiles updated.

My last day before today was December 23rd.  As I left, Rod was still frantically searching for his cell phone.  As I was leaving, I heard Rod say "Be sure to take your keys, I may be gone when you get back!" (I'm not sure where he thought I was going at 3 on the day before a holiday weekend, but I sure as hell wasn't coming back HERE.)  But I played along.  "Ok!"  I also had my hat, gloves, backpack, and all my leftover fruit from the frig.  Anyway, the point being, it sounded as though he was going to lock up upon his own departure.  Imagine my surprise when I found this email as I was sifting through them first thing this morning:

From: Rod Acme

To: Katie Murphy

Cc: Jennifer Smith

Date: Mon, 28 Dec 2009 08:44:38 -0800

Subject: Door Open

 

I came to the office 0900 hours on December 24th with front door unlocked and all the lights on. No one was present. Katie were you the last one to leave?  What time?  Its imperative the door is locked when no one is in the office!

Who was supposed to work on 12/24?

Now, there are a couple things of note.  First, he insists on listing all times as military time.  As in "Oh Nine Hundred."  It's just irritating.  Nobody here has ever served in the military, least of all Rod, and I don't think any of us would think that he meant 9pm.  Next, Jen and I have both emailed Rod twice about what days we were planning on taking off.  Not only that, but Jen had been talking constantly about how excited she was to have both Weds and Thu off, and I confirmed before leaving that I had Thursday off.  So, there is no doubt he had been told completely and thoroughly that we were not going to be there on the 24th.

Now, the funny part comes in to play when I let you know that Rod was, indeed, the last person to leave for the day on the 23rd.  Remember, as I left?  He told me to take my keys?  HE was the last one out the door!  For God's sake, man!  Get it together! (Never mind that Jen wasn't even here to lock it because she HAD THE DAY OFF.)  Good grief.  I mean, seriously, how does he even manage to cross a busy intersection?!

And just now before he left, he asked me directly if I was the one to leave the door open and lights on.  I said no, that it was actually him.  He denied it at first. Then I reminded him he had been coming and going in search of his cell phone.  I could see the enlightenment spread across his face.  He knew right then it had been him for sure.  But then, he just couldn't help himself:  "Well, THIS is one of those AREAS where we should COMMUNICATE BETTER!!  AHHRERMM!  You should have made it CLEAR you were LEAVING!"  (I guess, "I'm leaving now," isn't clear enough?)  Leave it to Rod.  Only he would try to turn that into my fault.  Whatever.

So, back to Rod's girlfriend.  Apparently, she is in California, and Rod paid for her flight and she will be staying with him.  Ick factor +3.  This comes as great news.  Not 2 hours after talking all about this, he then went on to tell us that we now will be responsible for $200/month more for our health insurance (sans dental insurance.)  Wow, this guy is a winner.  Jen also got details on yet another date Rod had this weekend.  Now, ladies, let me inform you right now.  Rod is not handsome.  Rod is not hot.  Rod is not even a little oddly attractive in a weird way.   For him to be "playing" the field like this is offensive, and makes me seriously wonder who it is that would actually date him...  Ick factor +6

So I was minding my own business (ok, not really, but Rod doesn't know that) when Rod made a personal call.  "I need to make an appointment with Dr. Benson, please."  *silence*  "Yes, but don't say that too loud!"  *silence*  "It's for a GROWTH on my SHOULDER!"  Oh, damn, man, can't you take some of these calls outside?  Ick factor +8.

Curse Count for the day:  Shit, 6 ::  Damn, 2  ::  GODDAMMIT!, 1

So, as you can see, no time was wasted today.  I got thrown right back in that saddle, whether I wanted to be there or not.  The time off at least gave me a chance to remember what normalcy felt like, and I even got to share a little love with my family.  It was good.

I will see you tomorrow, Blogging fans!


Eye Tee Girl

Even stoplights are blinking a bright red and green!

I'm so excited for the holiday coming up!  The laughter, the joy, the ... well, just the magic of the upcoming week.  I know, it's dorky, but it really is a fun time.  The sad thing is, usually, those are the reasons I look forward to Christmas.  This year?  I'm just excited to get the hell outta Dodge.
 
On the lighter side, our bathroom floor is clean!  Poor Rod.  He had no idea how to mop a floor.  First, he got some sort of floor cleaner designed to go in the handle of the mop, so I told him to just moisten the mop and pour the cleaner directly on the mop head.  But no.  He was hell bent on using just a little bit mixed in a bucket.  So instead of showing him how to do what I was talking about, I left him to his duties. Not 30 seconds passed.  "KATIEEEEEEE!!!" I came back around the corner and... Then I saw the bucket.  It was easily 4 inches smaller than the mop.  Well, that's fine, he'd use the sink, he said.  Problem with that was (a black eye and a banged up ear later) there is so little space between the sink and the opposite wall, there is no way to get the mop in the sink without putting the handle almost vertical. And yes, I got to see him hit himself first in the face then the ear as he tried to finagle the mop into position.  Well, then he had himself wedged as the mop handle dropped, thus fencing him in, if you will.  No matter how many times I told him it wasn't meant to be diluted in water, he escaped his prison, lifted his gate and poured about 1 tablespoon of cleaner into roughly a gallon of water.  Whatever.  Do it your way, Rod.
 
He then proceeded to clean the floor with a very sodden mop that sloshed water everywhere.  But he was so proud of himself when it was done!  It was almost cute.  It's still not dry, nearly 4 hours later, but, well, the job is done, anyway.  And the floor is clean!!  Hooray!

But today is a happy day.  I won't even go into the details like despite having 16 hours of vacation pay on my pay stub, I apparently won't get paid time off for the next 5 or so days that I am taking off.  I won't mention how grumpy Rod is because he lost his cell phone.

Nope.

Instead, I'm going to point out the good things!  Rod isn't making me work next week!  And guess what, he lost his cell phone!  So approximately an hour after arriving today, he left.  Ostensibly to go look for his phone, but we are all in the same boat.  Nobody wants to work today!

So happy holidays, everyone!  I'll be leaving soon, to go enjoy my tree, the presents wrapped and waiting, impatiently, for excited fingers to rip them open.  The tension is palpable this time of year, alive with a pulse that only beats when the nights are so long, you almost forget what daylight is like.  It's our shred of hope that warmer days are ahead, but none of us forget that in the heart, these are the days that will keep us warm for the year to come.  The stuff that memories are made of...

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a Good Night!

With love,

Eye Tee Girl

The season is nigh!

Christmas season in the office is turning out to be very pleasant indeed.  So pleasant, I find my story cache is getting low!  Never fear, Rod is always good for at least a couple lines a day!

"Ohhh my, JENNIFER!  You sure smell NICE today!" Oh ugh.  Poor Jen. But wait, it gets worse!  "Hey, Katie, JENNIFER has a CRUSH on me!"  She is still getting the willies, 4 hours after he said that.  Ick factor: Immeasurable.

I said, "Hi Rod, how are you today?"  He grumped "None of your BUSINESS."  Alrighty then.  And no, I have no idea if he was kidding.  Maybe?

There aren't really words to describe the art in our office.  Ugly?  Modern?  Circular?  Suffice it to say it makes this office even more bleak and unenjoyable.  And you know what happens when words can't describe... you post pictures!  Enjoy! 
 
Art from a local artist who once dated Rod.  (Why couldn't she have taken the art with her?  White walls would look better!)

The first, I call Ugly Blue Circles:

It is perhaps 3 feet square.

This one, I call Circles and Shadows of Circles:

This one is also about 3 feet square.  I think it wins the "Ugliest Art I Have Ever Seen" award.  And I've seen some ugly crap.
 

I think of this one as Circular, Empty Fruit Bowl:

Isn't the reflection a nice touch?  This one is perhaps 4 feet square.  That's right, 16 ungodly square feet of blue, ugly orangey red, black, and blacker black.

And lastly, the masterpiece, too large to photograph anything but a 3 foot swath, I fondly refer to this as Jail Cell: Kaleidoscoped.

It isn't cool and angular, that's just the angle of the camera for the picture.  This monster is, I think, 8 feet by 8 feet.  I have worked in cubicles with less square footage.  Hell, I rented a room once that was smaller!
 
Well, it's 2pm and the boss is gone. Doesn't that mean it's quittin' time?  I guess I'll give it another hour or so, then go send off some Christmas cards and wrap some presents for my loved ones.  The wine will flow, the carols will play, the cold wind will blow, and I'll have joy in my heart.  I hope you will, too.

Eye Tee Girl

Cameo Appearances

At the Christmas Party on Friday, Rod informed us that he will only be making "Cameo" appearances during the next two weeks.  Fine by us, we practically encouraged it!  The shorter the cameo, the easier the day.
 
Rod was very excited to see me today when I came in.  He couldn't wait to talk about his date, the Seahawks' dismal performance, and the state of his coffee.  Once he was done talking about his weekend, the conversation was done.  I wasn't asked how mine was, nor in any other way was my input sought.

After Jen came in, I said I was going to work on some documentation.  He said "ok, whatever gets you off!"  My eyes popped open. (I'm not sure why, you'd think I'd be past shock by now)  Then he said "Is that appropriate to say in the office?"  I said, "Well, I think I'd say 'whatever floats your boat,' but I guess you can say whatever you want."  Eww.  Rod talking to me about getting off.  Ick factor +4

I know everyone reading will be excited to know!  My insurance takes effect January 1!  I asked Rod close to a month ago for the forms.  Surprisingly, he printed the Regence forms out right away (kind of).  I filled them out immediately and returned them.  The next day, I found them on my desk with a note asking me to fax it.  Fine.  At least then I know it will get done!  So I went to look up our info for insurance, and discovered we are not with Regence.  Sigh.  We are with Premera.  So two weeks ago, I mentioned that I needed the correct forms.  I mentioned it again a week ago.  I mentioned it again at the end of last week.  He said "I thought I printed those out for you like a month ago."  Sigh.  "Those are Regence forms, Rod, remember?  We are with Premera.  Right?"  "AHHHERRRUGMM!!  Yes, we are with Premera.  [long silence]  Why don't you just send them the Regence forms and see what they do?"  I laughed.  Out loud.  "Are you serious?  No you can't be."  Silence. He was. Serious, that is.  "Um, I don't think I can do that, Rod, I need the Premera forms."  Silence.  Then:  "Well, FINE."  Needless to say, the issue has been resolved, I filled out the correct forms, and insurance should be effective in a couple weeks.  Yahoo!

Later in the day he was on a call with a customer and they started talking about the shooting range.  Rod was getting all into it, excitedly talking about how he loves the smells there.  Then he said "Well, I can't say in the presence of mixed company what it smells like..."  Ohhh, DAMN.  Ick factor +8.

Rod has been very excited lately at the prospect of Jen using Match.com.  He wants to help her get her profile put together.  Now, don't get me wrong.  If this were my dad, it would be totally cute in an old man type of way.  But this isn't my father.  For that matter, he's not Jen's father, either.  So it's kinda just weird that he wants to help her with the profile.  But then he went on to talk about it:  "You are VERY pretty, VERY pretty.  Oh, you'll have your CHOICE of boys.  You are very atTRACtive, so you can be VERY selective!"  I get it.  I know he was trying to be nice, but... Poor, poor Rod.  Just doesn't get it. 

Of course, today, he mentioned that he thinks his daughter is "one hot chick" so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised!

And then... then the magical sound of Windows XP shutting down, followed by the sounds of coffee being prepped for the next day... and then... the sound of car keys. And lastly, the merry sound of the jingle bells on the Welcome sign as Rod left for the day!

So while the blog may be short the next couple weeks, please know, gentle readers, that Eye Tee Girl is getting some much needed peace and quiet at the office.

Eye Tee Girl

Merry day

Today is a merry one for Rod.  When he got here, he immediately went to talk to the gents next door.  Upon seeing his headlights splash across the wall as he pulled in, I immediately ran for the bathroom with my iPhone.  There, I played a mean round of Tap Tap.  In the middle of the game, I heard the bells jingle on the door as Rod comes in.  "JOY!" He bellows mirthfully.  I just rolled my eyes.  He made me miss a note.  "HEY KATIE SO UM I WAS THINKING THIS MORNING AS I CAME IN... KATIE!  WHERE IS KATIE!"  Oh good Lord.  "I'm in HERE!" I bellowed back.  What a doofus.  Where ELSE am I going to be, if the office is open, my computer is on, and his newspaper is on the coffee table?!  And he was yelling.  Loudly. He made me miss two more notes.  Curses!  I was having a good game, too.  With a sigh, I finished my now un-noteworthy game, pretend flushed, pretend washed my hands, then came out.  Well, at least he was in a good mood today.
 
When I came out, I asked him what he wanted to say.  He said he forgot.  Well, good thing he came in bellowing about something he forgot within 45 seconds.  I rolled my eyes and sat down. "OH! I REMEMBER!" I jumped. Good LORD that man can be loud sometimes!  "You and JENNifer are going to be my DATES today for LUNCH!  Isn't that exciting?!"  Oh, yeah, Rod, you have no idea what a thrill it is to hear you call me your date.  "Um, yeah, Rod, I'm looking forward to our Christmas lunch, too."  Do you know what?  He even had to correct me on this.  "It's not a LUNCH, Katie, it's a CHRISTMAS PARTY!  Isn't that GREAT?!"  "Absolutely!" I said.  Wow.  Someone musta gotten a lil sumfin sumfin last night, or is he just really looking forward to this function?
 
When Jen came in, he got so excited to call her his date, he choked:  "JENNIF-AHHERUGGUMM AGGHHH GUUHHHHH CACK GUCK AHHHHERRRRRRRUM!  JENNIFER!  GOOD MORNING!"  Oh, Wow.  I was shaking my head.  "Good morning, Rod," she said.  "HOW ARE YOU TODAY?" he bellowed joyfully.  "Oh, I'm excited, Rod!  A friend got us courtside tickets to see the Cougar Hardwood Classic!" Well, this just opened a door for Rod (of course).  "Oooooo COUGAR!  Now, is this a Washington State UniVERsity thing?  Or is this some sort of hard-wood class for those COUGAR women I've been hearing about lately?"  I just rolled my eyes.  Perv.  Yes, poor Jen is a Coug, but not a cougar. WTF? Ick factor +4  At least he didn't make it even worse by saying something like "Get it?  HARD?  WOOD?"

Rod has cussed at least 7 times today.  He has only been here for two hours.

Rod finally noticed that the Joy door mat does not, in fact, face the door.  Instead, I have it positioned to face the office, so that you receive the Joy "Blessing" as you exit.  It makes me smile that you receive no joy as you walk in, but receive it on the way out.  It may be insignificant to you, but to me, well, it brings me joy. Anyway, he wanted it positioned to face those who come in the door.  I paused before replying.  I was going to have to be crafty here.  "Umm, that's because we come in the building once, maybe twice a day.  I thought, since we go by it all day long, it would be nice if it faced the office where we are all day!"  Ohhh, I'm good! He took the bait without even seeing the nasty, gnarly hook beneath it.  "OHHH my, what a sweet gesture!  I never would have thought of that!"  I won that round.

Later, he asked me to come over to his cubicle to talk about something.  I had apparently mislabeled the subject of an email.  (I believe you recall how IMPORTANT the SUBJECT lines are in EMAIL, from one of my first posts?)  Well, "Acme Organizer Licensing" was not sufficient subjecting for an email that requested license info for Acme Organizer.  No.  It should also have included the company name.  Ok, fine.  I know the next time, however, when I'll label it "Acme Organizer Licensing - Customer Name" that he'll find something else wrong with that, too.
 
I added to the Festivus decorations today.  I added two hand towels in the bathroom - a penguin and a stack of present on the other.  Rod just now came out and said, "Ooooh!  I just LOVE the stockings!"  So while he tries hard, he just can't quite pull it together, can he?

Today is a short day, everyone!  We have our Christmas Lunch Party today! 

Have a great weekend, have a great one!  Finish up your shopping, then enjoy the time off before the craziness begins!  I am signing off until Monday!


Eye Tee Girl

Island in the stream...

That is what I am... the River Rod washing away what's left of my very foundation.

I find I am just getting crankier and crankier every day.  And not just at work.  What fuse I used to have for repeating or explaining myself is getting shorter and shorter.  My poor family.  Lord forbid someone can't hear what I said.  Especially if it's on a bad Rod Day.  Maybe those days should get a mark on the calendar.  Other husbands may mark a certain time of month for their wives?  My squeeze should get a red bingo stamp for bad Rod Days.  Too bad we can't predict them like we can the other.

Today started off like most days:  Me remaining as silent as possible.  Now, those who know me in real life are likely scoffing right now.  You see, Dear Reader, IT Girl is NOT known for being quiet or circumspect. Certainly not for tongue-biting! See how Rod changes me?  In this place, I am quiet, reserved, barely speaking- all in hopes that Rod will forget my existence and to avoid confrontation.  (It doesn't work)

So, back to the story.  Silent Me is typing away when Rod's phone rings and he answered the call in the office.  This always is a good sign for the blog, because undoubtedly, some fascinating tidbits will come out.  Today was no exception when his daughter called, and I was ready to take some notes!

"Hrrmmmm.  Ambulatory?  What's that mean? [silence] ahhHHERRMM! Mobile?  I'm not sure what that means, either."  But then, you know what arrears, lien, and levy mean, don't you Rod?

"That's great!  That will be another feather in your quiver!"  Hmm.  A quiver is where one stores arrows.  You often see feathers on arrows...  But I believe the phrase Rod is looking for is "a feather in your cap" ... Of course, I could be wrong.

With no words being exchanged this morning other than "hi!," about an hour after I came in, Rod very snottily asked me, "Is there a REASon you can't cc me on ALL your EMAIL?"  Rather than pointing out he had asked me to stop doing that just last week (there was no point in reminding him, he would've just picked a fight about that, instead) I simply said I would do my best to remember to cc him on everything from now on.  It pacified him.  Whew!

Not five seconds after that, he said quite loudly "OH SHIT!"  Now, when someone says that, usually the people around them are alarmed.  I hear it so often here, that now it just grates on my nerves.  So, part of me had to comment.  "Is there a reason you can't keep your mouth clean?"  I regretted this the minute it came out of my mouth.  Alas, too late. I just couldn't resist using his own words against him! And I mean really, I see no effort on his part to not cuss at work.  Anyway, he said "You sure are unreasonable about this cussing thing."  I said, "It's unreasonable to expect good manners?"  It's nice to get the last word in.

About an hour later, I got this email:

----------------------- Original Message -----------------------

  

From: Rod Acme

To: Katie Murphy

Cc: 

Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:31:30 -0800

Subject: Documentation: Application Install

  

pls copy me on your em's.  why can't you send him the instal doc I showed you on 12/15?
BTW no one knows more abt our documentatnion than I do. Not bragging just a fact.

Wow, there are just so many things in that one little email that reveal so much about him!  He can't type out the full words (email and about are so hard to type out), he can't spell (Instal? documentatnion?), and he's a self-denying-admitted braggart.  And all this from a man who tells us to never immediately send an email, but to always queue it, so we can then review it for typos and inappropriate comments.  WTFever dude.
Rod was out of the office most of the day yesterday.  Jen did some testing on one of our products and found a minor bug.  She emailed Rod her findings and then this morning, he called her over to speak to her about it.  His first question, "WHY is this not reported as a BUG?!"  Wowie.  Jen is soooo good at keeping cool as a cucumber.  I'd never be able to reply like she did:  "Well, I thought I would talk to you about it, and then I would write it up!"  Cute as a button, she is.  No wonder she has been able to work here two years, while at only two months, I am ready to start sliding bamboo shoots under my fingernails rather than come in each morning.

Today, I decorated the office.  I got exactly 3 things:  A door sign that says "Welcome" with merry jingle bells on it.  A doormat that says "JOY" and lastly, a set of white lights for the window.  I just couldn't resist the irony of "welcoming" people with "joy" to our office.  Of course, Rod doesn't get it. I think Jen might.  But the point is, I get my own little chuckle each and every time I see those words.

After a call today with a client who was extremely busy, I commented on his activity level.  "Wow, that's one busy guy, huh, Jen?"  Jen agreed, "Yeah, he sure is!"  Before she could really finish her sentence, however, Rod piped in:  "And he's ALIVE!"  Sigh.  That's Rod for you.  All he really cares about is whether or not our customers have a pulse.  How sad.

And then just now, as he left for lunch, we were debating whether or not the whole Tiger Woods scandal would blow over a year from now.  We mentioned Bill Clinton - that one never really blew over.  Rod said "Yeah, but he didn't have SEX!"  Oh, brother.  I said, well, Michael Jackson "never did" either, but we won't forget that scandal!"  Rod said, "Excuse me? Michael Jackson?"  Me:  "Yeah, you don't know who Michael Jackson is?!"  Him: "Urrrummm the singer?"  Me: "Yes."  Him:  "What scandal was he involved in?"  Geez Louise.  Completely out of touch, isn't he?

One thing is certain... the little doormat I got will help remind me to be joyous that I am leaving the office each day. That's the best parting gift a girl could ask for.

Eye Tee Girl