Island in the stream...

That is what I am... the River Rod washing away what's left of my very foundation.

I find I am just getting crankier and crankier every day.  And not just at work.  What fuse I used to have for repeating or explaining myself is getting shorter and shorter.  My poor family.  Lord forbid someone can't hear what I said.  Especially if it's on a bad Rod Day.  Maybe those days should get a mark on the calendar.  Other husbands may mark a certain time of month for their wives?  My squeeze should get a red bingo stamp for bad Rod Days.  Too bad we can't predict them like we can the other.

Today started off like most days:  Me remaining as silent as possible.  Now, those who know me in real life are likely scoffing right now.  You see, Dear Reader, IT Girl is NOT known for being quiet or circumspect. Certainly not for tongue-biting! See how Rod changes me?  In this place, I am quiet, reserved, barely speaking- all in hopes that Rod will forget my existence and to avoid confrontation.  (It doesn't work)

So, back to the story.  Silent Me is typing away when Rod's phone rings and he answered the call in the office.  This always is a good sign for the blog, because undoubtedly, some fascinating tidbits will come out.  Today was no exception when his daughter called, and I was ready to take some notes!

"Hrrmmmm.  Ambulatory?  What's that mean? [silence] ahhHHERRMM! Mobile?  I'm not sure what that means, either."  But then, you know what arrears, lien, and levy mean, don't you Rod?

"That's great!  That will be another feather in your quiver!"  Hmm.  A quiver is where one stores arrows.  You often see feathers on arrows...  But I believe the phrase Rod is looking for is "a feather in your cap" ... Of course, I could be wrong.

With no words being exchanged this morning other than "hi!," about an hour after I came in, Rod very snottily asked me, "Is there a REASon you can't cc me on ALL your EMAIL?"  Rather than pointing out he had asked me to stop doing that just last week (there was no point in reminding him, he would've just picked a fight about that, instead) I simply said I would do my best to remember to cc him on everything from now on.  It pacified him.  Whew!

Not five seconds after that, he said quite loudly "OH SHIT!"  Now, when someone says that, usually the people around them are alarmed.  I hear it so often here, that now it just grates on my nerves.  So, part of me had to comment.  "Is there a reason you can't keep your mouth clean?"  I regretted this the minute it came out of my mouth.  Alas, too late. I just couldn't resist using his own words against him! And I mean really, I see no effort on his part to not cuss at work.  Anyway, he said "You sure are unreasonable about this cussing thing."  I said, "It's unreasonable to expect good manners?"  It's nice to get the last word in.

About an hour later, I got this email:

----------------------- Original Message -----------------------

  

From: Rod Acme

To: Katie Murphy

Cc: 

Date: Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:31:30 -0800

Subject: Documentation: Application Install

  

pls copy me on your em's.  why can't you send him the instal doc I showed you on 12/15?
BTW no one knows more abt our documentatnion than I do. Not bragging just a fact.

Wow, there are just so many things in that one little email that reveal so much about him!  He can't type out the full words (email and about are so hard to type out), he can't spell (Instal? documentatnion?), and he's a self-denying-admitted braggart.  And all this from a man who tells us to never immediately send an email, but to always queue it, so we can then review it for typos and inappropriate comments.  WTFever dude.
Rod was out of the office most of the day yesterday.  Jen did some testing on one of our products and found a minor bug.  She emailed Rod her findings and then this morning, he called her over to speak to her about it.  His first question, "WHY is this not reported as a BUG?!"  Wowie.  Jen is soooo good at keeping cool as a cucumber.  I'd never be able to reply like she did:  "Well, I thought I would talk to you about it, and then I would write it up!"  Cute as a button, she is.  No wonder she has been able to work here two years, while at only two months, I am ready to start sliding bamboo shoots under my fingernails rather than come in each morning.

Today, I decorated the office.  I got exactly 3 things:  A door sign that says "Welcome" with merry jingle bells on it.  A doormat that says "JOY" and lastly, a set of white lights for the window.  I just couldn't resist the irony of "welcoming" people with "joy" to our office.  Of course, Rod doesn't get it. I think Jen might.  But the point is, I get my own little chuckle each and every time I see those words.

After a call today with a client who was extremely busy, I commented on his activity level.  "Wow, that's one busy guy, huh, Jen?"  Jen agreed, "Yeah, he sure is!"  Before she could really finish her sentence, however, Rod piped in:  "And he's ALIVE!"  Sigh.  That's Rod for you.  All he really cares about is whether or not our customers have a pulse.  How sad.

And then just now, as he left for lunch, we were debating whether or not the whole Tiger Woods scandal would blow over a year from now.  We mentioned Bill Clinton - that one never really blew over.  Rod said "Yeah, but he didn't have SEX!"  Oh, brother.  I said, well, Michael Jackson "never did" either, but we won't forget that scandal!"  Rod said, "Excuse me? Michael Jackson?"  Me:  "Yeah, you don't know who Michael Jackson is?!"  Him: "Urrrummm the singer?"  Me: "Yes."  Him:  "What scandal was he involved in?"  Geez Louise.  Completely out of touch, isn't he?

One thing is certain... the little doormat I got will help remind me to be joyous that I am leaving the office each day. That's the best parting gift a girl could ask for.

Eye Tee Girl