Crazy, Cuckoo, Cranky

I'm just in a foul mood today.  And Rod is not helping.  In fact, I believe he is responsible for it.
 
Let's start where it started today.  I was demo-ing a product for him when it started, blam-o.  He was upset with the size of the window of the application. Because it's basically an informational screen, it doesn't really get any larger.  Maximizing it just moves it - it's the way the program is written.  Rod kept wanting me to make it larger.  For half an hour, we went round and round. Finally, after asking why he wanted the box bigger (was there something he wasn't displayed in the window, I asked?) he said he wanted the actual font sizes larger.  He wanted me to change the resolution.  I explained that I use a standard and clients have never complained about it being too small.  This wasn't good enough for him.  Now, I use a laptop all day, and the resolution settings on the LCD are what they are.  I can decrease the resolution (thereby increasing the size of the picture), but then my display becomes fuzzy and distorted.  It physically hurts my eyes and it wouldn't take long before I got a headache.  All that being said, Rod made me change my resolution, to see if that would make anything bigger.  It did, but only barely so - not even a quarter of an inch.  I was fighting him so hard on this, there was no chance I was going to drop the res down to 800 x 600.  So Rod finally gave up on making the screen bigger.  And then...
 
And then, he noticed I have my Windows task bar on the right.  I'm using a wide screen display, and I like my bar on the right.  Sure, it's different, but the point is, it is my preference, because it is on my computer.  Rod saw it on the right and then asked me to remove my "Google bar thing."  It took me a second, but then I figured out he meant my task bar.   I said, "Um, this is my regular task bar, where Internet Explorer and email and stuff all hang out.  I can't really 'remove' it."  "Oh, well, you should HAVE it like everyONE ELSE does, it's very DISTRACTING over there..." And on and on he rambled (incoherently as usual).  I finally just stopped him and said "Rod, for God's sake, this is my computer.  I am not going to customize it for your comfort!"  I felt a twinge of guilt at my tone, but for crying out loud... He wants to control so much about me that he even wants to tell me how to set up the display for my computer?  He goes too far, this time, I tell you!  Too far!
 
Yesterday was Rod's birthday.  His daughter actually came in and decorated for him.  Garlands and crepe paper, it was really great.  I guess today, Rod got tired of the garlands hanging over the hallway.  Mind you, I think most people would have just taken the garlands down.  You know, like find out where it is attached to the wall and remove the garlands?  Nope, not Rod.

I'm not sure how much of the mess you can see here, but Rod decided, I guess, to just rip or cut down the garlands and crepe mid hallway.  This left a bunch of little glittery strands in the hallway.  Of course he did not clean this up, so, naturally, it is now getting tracked all over the office for poor Jen to have to try to vacuum up later. And we now have three very short silver garlands.  Wonnnnnderful.
 

Rod is so so very inapprop.  He asked a customer if he would like an update on Rod's love life.  He later called a scheduled phone meeting "a date" with me (gag me), and what is worse, Jen even encouraged him in calling it a date.  She seemed to find that quite hilarious.  I didn't.  I did, however, find a great deal of humor when Rod went right up to Jen and said to her "HEY! KATIE!  I need you to...  Wait, are you Katie?  Katie..?"  He said my name twice there, as though it just didn't taste right on his tongue.  Then it hit him!  "No! You're JENNIFER!"  Whatever, dude, just as long as you aren't talking to me, use my name all you want.  Then, later, he was talking to, I dunno, someone, and he mentioned his birthday, the party tonight, and that he needed a designated driver.  Of course, he would need someone circumspect, as he is hoping to "get lucky" tonight.  Ugh.  Ick Factor +7

In this cold snap we are having, Rod brings his swimsuit in so it isn't "freezing" when he puts it on.  Ok, a couple things here.  #1, I do NOT need the visual of Rod "freezing" something when he puts on a swim suit.  Ick Factor +5.  #2, isn't this the purpose of a locker room?  To leave your clothing there so you don't have to tote it around all the time?  Poor, poor Rod.

Recently, Rod told me to go look up some company documentation on our server.  So I went to the folder called Acme, and then searched around in there where I thought I would find the file.  I had no luck, I told him.  I was asked where I was looking, so I told him.  He got frustrated with me.  "NO!  It's in AACompanyDocuments folder!!"  Ohh, right, sure!  What was I thinking?! That makes perfect sense!  (The funny part is, the company name doesn't even start with an A, so it makes even less sense than you'd think!)

He has told every single person he has spoken to on the phone today that his birthday was yesterday.  Even if he just makes 5 calls, do you understand how tiresome it is getting when I know he is going to get on a call? Every single person.
 

Rod criticised Jen's sister for wanting to get a new car.  This, after hearing the story that said sister had to use her foot to stop the car after the brakes failed in a parking lot.  (I think Jen said the brakes actually "fell out.")  Yeah, time for a new car in my book, but for skinflint Rod?  It's still good as new!

Rod is lazy, we know this.  But it became clear again the other day when he told me he hadn't yet bothered to read the release notes.  He then came over to my cube to have me scroll through them and read them to him. Lame.

On Monday morning, "Jen, you've been working with this client for QUITE some TIME now."  Jen: "Um, December 4th was Friday?  So it hasn't been that long?"

"We are just two names, uh, two FACES, two er... AHERM... passing in the night."  Ships, Rod?  

Oh, Dear Reader, coming in to work every day is getting more and more difficult.  The stories I present here are (supposedly) humorous, but the day to day battles of dealing with someone who forgets nearly everything you talk about, who won't read things you send him, and who can't even remember your name and your face... well, it just gets to be unbearably difficult.  Please, reply to messages, contact me on Facebook, let me know you enjoy my stories or ask questions.  I need to know there really are normal, friendly people out there!

Over and out,

Eye Tee Girl