Insanity, that's all there is to it.

Rod has got to be just plain crazy.  I mean it, really.  I don't think he's sane.  Legally.  I wonder what the defini... Here it is, courtesy of www.m-w.com: in·san·i·ty such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction.  Yup, that's Rod.  Let's see what else it says. (ctrl tabbing, one moment please): 3 a : extreme folly or unreasonableness b : something utterly foolish or unreasonable
There we have it.  Rod is insane.  If the first definition I listed didn't convince you, I hope the last one did.  Utterly foolish, unreasonable.  That is Rod in a nutshell.  Plus, I don't think he should be allowed to sign his own checks, so that ticks off the first one, too.
 
Seriously, do you know how hard it is working for someone like this?  The red herrings he has me chase down every two hours or so completely kill my productivity that I never actually get to do my job.  Of course, I am then held accountable for what I have gotten done each day.  As a result, I now print out my daily tasks with hourly accounting on them, so that when Rod wants to know what I've been working on, I can show him the clouds he sends me chasing after.

Did you know, I think I've mentioned it?  Rod curses.  A lot.  Most of the time, it's just to himself (I think) but sometimes at Jennifer, sometimes at me.  Then, he acts shocked when I get angry. Now, don't get me wrong, I can cuss with the best of them.  I can drop the F bomb as easily a water balloon in late July. But at the work place?  It just doesn't seem right.  Specifically, it feels really bad when my boss curses.  It feels even worse when he curses at me.  So, lately, I have changed my tactic.  I confront him directly and ask "Why did you have to curse at me just then?"  Or I will say "Cursing at me does not behoove this conversation."  Or I've even been known to say "When you curse at me, it shows how little respect you have for me.  Please don't do that."  None of those phrases have helped.  Of course not!  Take today, for instance.  He very directly cursed me, "Goddammit, Katie!"  So I called him on it and said "Why do you think it's ok to keep cursing at me?" And I expected him to back track, to apologize, some acknowledgment that what he had just done was wrong.  No.  Quite the contrary.  "BECAUSE I WANT... YOU ARE DENYING... BECAUSE YOU WON'T... BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO ADMIT THAT THERE IS A DATABASE!!!"  Wow.  I've undoubtedly been cursed at in this life... but hopefully it was worth it.  Hopefully, I did something to deserve it.  Maybe I back talked my mom, or maybe I broke someone's heart. But not admitting to the existence of a database?  Call me the crazy one if you want, but I don't think that's worth calling down hell and damnation on someone's head.  (For the record, in this particular conversation, I didn't even know we were talking about databases, much less that he wanted me to admit to its existence.  To hurry up his leavetaking, I immediately admitted that there is a database.  It appeased him.  Who knew the existence of an entity like a database could turn into something so emotional?!)
 
While on a conference call with a customer, Rod told them that I told him he speaks with a forked tongue.  Hmm.  I said "No, I called you a snake.  That's not quite the same thing."  Neither statement was true, but I couldn't let him get the upper hand!  Obviously, with my charm and quick comeback, I quickly won over the potential client and had them in my pocket.  He then asked "Do you know what it's like to be in arrears?"  Now, I could likely be mistaken,  but isn't that akin to asking "Do you know what it's like to be behind on your debt payments?"  Who would say something like that? Only Rod.  Do you suppose he thought people wouldn't know what that word means?  Then, he went on to talk about his personal life, and said "Now, be sure to let Scarlett know that I'm spoken for now."  Now, mind you, Scarlett hates Rod, perhaps more than we do, but I guess Rod hasn't figured it out yet.  Or maybe he has, and he just thinks comments like that are funny.  When I was done cringing from that comment, he went on to ask everyone there if they had ever told their manager to shove it.  When he came to me to answer, I replied, "No, I haven't."  Since I knew where this was going, I waited.  "Oh, c'mon KATIE!  Of course you have!  When you're really mad, I bet you have told SOMEone to shove it!!"  I said something like "The word that came out of my mouth probably wasn't 'shove'."  Well, of course, he just thought this was hilarious.  Now, remember, nobody else has really said anything, Rod has just rambled on and on from each of these topics to the next.  His goal was to humiliate me, but when he started asking if it is appropriate to say "Merry Christmas" to someone you don't know well... I think it backfired.  Someone said "Happy Festivus for the rest of us!" and poor Rod didn't get the reference.  He didn't even try to Google it so he could understand why everyone was now laughing at him.  Hell, he didn't even ask!  He just said "Festivus?!  What are you saying? What? FESTIVUS?  Hrmph"  (If you don't get it, here you go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus )  Poor Rod is just so out of touch.  With the times, with reality, with normalcy...

So there you go, just another day in paradise.  Rod is now back from swimming, so I'm cutting this one off for the day.  If something good happens in the next hour before he leaves, I will blog again.

Thank you to those of you who posted kind words to me either in Facebook or here.  It really, really helps me to know I am making people laugh.  Think Simon and Schuster will be calling me anytime soon with a book deal??

HAPPY FESTIVUS, EVERYONE!


Eye Tee Girl