A case of the Mondays!

I have come to the conclusion that the only day I can actually enjoy is Saturday.  Fridays are ruined because I have to go into work, but they are at least better than a Monday, because I know Saturday is coming up.  And Sundays are ruined the minute I remember I have to go back to work "tomorrow."  So here I sit, pouty and cranky that I have another full week of work ahead of me again.  I definitely have a case of the Mondays.
 
Today I tried four times (four times) to tell Rod that his Peachtree still isn't working and that I will need extended time at his desktop.  Could he please let me know when he is leaving for the day and I will work on it then.  Two sentences.  Verbally speaking, it's practically one if you don't pause between the sentences!  But no.  I couldn't get it out.  He interrupted me each and every time.  One time to ask how long "extended period of time is, 30 minutes?" Another time to say "Do you have to work on my machine?"  (this after telling him it appeared to be a mapping problem, so yes, by definition, I would have to work on his machine.)  Finally, the fifth time, I at least got out the first part of the thought, but not the second.  As I so often do, I settled on "good enough," this time.

Rod waffles on what reports he wants me to run.  When I run them, they are usually sorted by date and cover either a) everything I've done or b) everything I'm planning to do.  I figure I don't need to do a filter, it's easy enough to look at the top of the report to see the most recent stuff, and if he wants to see older stuff, then I don't need to run any extra reports.  This minimizes Rod exposure time and reduces ick factor daily totals.

I admit, today, I forgot to run said reports.  Friday was so busy, I literally was running out the door to catch my ride, and didn't have time to run them.  This morning when I got in, I completely forgot.  So Rod had to print out the document (for the 5th time) that detailed which reports I am supposed to run for him daily, and which ones on Monday only.  (This document is already on my cubicle wall).  He had one report underlined.  So I ran that one.  I thought that was all he wanted.  Again, my mistake.  He then said "is that ALL the reports you are supposed to run for me?"  He asked it in kindergarten teacher tone.  Like I'm 5.  "I don't know, Rod, is it?  I thought that was why you underlined this."  Then he put his finger on the document and pointed to the line that says: "Please genertate [sic] every Monday, or when asked, the following:"  "Ok, Rod.  Can you explain why you underlined this one, then?  I got confused, I guess."  Come to think of it, he never did really answer me, just kept pointing at the line and somehow indicated (without using full sentences) that I was to print out "all 4."  (There are 6 listed.)

So I printed them out.

And when he picked them up from the printer, he wanted to go over them.  Sigh.

So he asked about the first one.  "Is this sorted by date?"  "Um, it should be, yes."  I couldn't physically see it, he was too far away, but as I said, I print them by date, so I had no reason to suspect otherwise.  "NOT 'SHOULD BE!'  Either it IS or it ISN'T"  Who does he think he is?  Yoda?  Do or Do not, try there is none?  WtF? Anyway, I finished by saying, "Well, I don't know, look at it.  Is it sorted by date?"  Really, wasn't that the simplest solution, anyway?  For him to look at the report in his hand?  Whatever.

Then he looked at the next one.  "Mmmkay.  And this... "  I could tell he was trying to figure out what it was, completed tasks, present tasks, overdue tasks, or future tasks.  He can never figure this out, even though all he would have to do is look for and compare "Planned completion date," or "Completion date."  But I think the logic is too much - it just wouldn't occur to him. So then, it came: the inevitable:  "So this... Is this sorted by date?"  I answered: "I assume so, yes."  Oh, boy.  "There IS NO ASSUME!!!  IS IT OR ISN'T IT?"  Because he was yelling at me, I yelled right back.  "I DON'T KNOW!  I CAN'T SEE IT!  IS IT OR ISN'T IT?"  Then, he threw (yes, threw) the papers at me.  I said something like "Wow the respect is underwhelming here, isn't it?"  For the record, I never did tell him if it was sorted by date.

Rod informed me today that he was interviewing a dev later in the day.  Great, say I.  This will mean that I can leave that much sooner when he terminates me!  Jen moans every time I say that, but I can't help but feel a sense of relief in my future.  Anyway, 30 minutes or so before the interview, I figured I would be friendly and break the silence.  "So, Rod!  Whatcha gonna tell the new guy about working here?!"  I meant it as a friendly inquiry to spur a nice conversation.  What I got back was "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"  So I replied "Alrighty then, no friendly conversation!"  Wow.  That one really took me aback!  Honestly.  I was trying to be nice, to make conversation, I don't think I asked for anything inappropriate.  I would have asked that of any employer, I think, about an upcoming interview.  Hell, I've been a part of interviews!  This strong comeback reminding me to mind my own bee's wax told me exactly what he is interviewing this person to do.  Replace me.  Awesome!  That is some wicked good news, and will make getting unemployment that much easier. Anyway, a few minutes of peace went by, whereupon Rod started muttering something about "You KNOW, I just don't see the POINT of PERSonal converSAtion in the OFFice."  I interrupted him before his non-apology got too painful for everyone.  "Forget I even said anything, Rod.  I was just trying to be friendly, obviously a foreign concept for you."  Whatever.

Now, once more, I don't mind people making stinkies in the bathroom.  We all have to do it sooner or later.  But, again, Rod, the can of aerosol lemon spray, the fan, and an open door help eliminate those nasty odors.  The worst part is hearing him make the stinkies and then (prepare yourselves) not hearing him washing his hands.  Or spraying the lemon spray.  And then closing the door to lock the smell in tightly.  Lovely.  Jen, you go in first.

So then the new guy showed up for his interview.  Rod offered to take him to lunch, to which New Guy replied "oh I have to let my wife know."  There was a curious silence, and then NG said "She gave me a ride and is hanging out in the parking lot until the interview is over."  Well, Rod jumped right on that... and invited wifey along... to coffee.  Lunch was no longer on the table, apparently.  Two people is too many for dollar-sign-driven Rod!  To make matters worse, it would appear that she drove the three of them.  In her car.  That just seemed sooo tacky, Jen and I thought.

And just now, the best news EVAR!  Rod wanted to show me links on his desktop for PeachTree.  I confirmed, they are on your desk top?  Yes, they are.  Okay, then, I don't think I need you to show them to me, I can find them when I work on your machine a bit later today."  Here, he felt the need to flex his employer muscles, or something... "No, I WILL SHOW YOU where they ARE!"  I jokingly said, with a friendly, teasing tone, "I can always close my eyes!"  I thought I was hilarious, Jen laughed... Rod... not so much.  "FINE THEN!  I WILL JUST DO THIS MYSELF!"

Fine, Rod, do it yourself.  Let me know how that works out for you.   Send me a postcard, 'cause in the meantime, I have some walking to do whenever you deign to return. I hope you understand if I don't hurry back.



Eye Tee Girl