I can't trust quiet days

It's getting to the point now that I can't enjoy the quiet days as much, because I know it's just the calm before the storm.  Rod was in a fairly good mood today.  I'm not sure why.  And that is terrifying.
 
I was on Monster, and out of curiosity, decided to run a search for Acme.  This is what I found:

Windows Analyst – Developer

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Growing Seattle Software Company needs Windows Analyst/​Programmer.​  You will not be hired if we can’t significantly increase your income.​

A candidate with good verbal and written skills, who can guide network administrators and CIO’s through technical processes regarding software troubleshooting, will be effective.​ 

Success involves identifying the prospect’s wants and applying our technical resources to satisfy them.​

The support process includes email, telephone discussions and web site demonstrations of our solutions.​ This is a great opportunity for you to create a national reputation in the Microsoft user community.​  Technical software sales skills are a must.​  

Experience in several of these areas helpful:

·         .​Net

·    Visual Studio

·        Visual Basic

·        SQL Server 2005

·    Web Site

·        Goldmine

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If you have ambition, desire to make $$$$’s and want to work in a relaxed and very cool environment apply today!

Now, after being here for a few months now, I know what to look for.  He really wants this place to look good!  So what does he do?  He lies.

First, we aren't in Seattle, we are in Kenmore. 
We are not a software company, we are a re-seller.
A great opportunity to create a national reputation?  I was sipping some water as I read that one, and water came shooting out of my nose.  HA!
Relaxed?  Now my eyes were tearing from the laughter!
Very cool?  That's just plain snort-worthy.
If you look at it more closely, the bad English, the grammatical errors, and the inconsistent font and other lazy formatting become obvious.  Too bad some poor, unsuspecting schmucks will actually apply for this job!

Now, here's the funny part:  I don't think this is an ad to replace me!  It could very well be, don't get me wrong.  But some things lead me to think it isn't.  First, Rod told me he placed the ad a few hours after we found it.  Also, we desperately need a developer here.  Then, he asked Jen and me to go through the resumés he's gotten and pick out a prospect (he has only gotten 2).  And lastly, I asked him outright if it was for my replacement, and he denied it.  Of course, I lend absolutely no credence to his word (he lies all the time, after all), but the other facts kinda make me think.... But no, I'm sure he wants to get rid of me, and he thinks he's pulling the wool over my eyes.  Trust me, the minute he hires someone new and asks ME to do the training?  I am outta here!  (Oh, please, let me get another job before that happens! I  so want to walk out on him!)

On a lighter note, Rod finally got a haircut.  His nasty ass, mad scientist hair was about 4 inches long, sticking out from all over his head.  (Except where it was matted down due to the bed head effect.)  So now it's only about 2 inches.  Much, much better!  (Of course, that's rather like saying liver and onions is better than raw liver, but still...)

Curse count:  Shit, 4 :: GDI, 2
 
Rod thinks he is so funny. Today, the new property manager introduced herself to us.  True to form, Rod had to crawl out of his cubicle and say something humiliating.  It didn't take long.  He asked her if she had spoken to the men next door?  She said they were next.  "Ohhh GOODIE!" he said, literally rubbing his hands together gleefully.  "Can you please let them know that they are exCESSively LOUD?"  She was nodding professionally, even repeated him a little.  "Oh, uh-huh, too much noise?"  She was excited to prove herself, I think!  Then he continued.  "Yes, when they use the BATHroom, the NOISES that we hear over here are just AWWWWful."  Oh dear Lord.  Bathroom humor.  Really?  I know 6 year olds with better knock-knock jokes than that.  Rod knows how to charm the ladies, don't he?  She laughed politely, shook his hand good-bye, and scuttled out of the office before I could shoot her the "I'm sorry he's such a knucklehead" look.  Poor lady.

So there you have it, a boring, non exciting day at the office, and I actually blogged about it.  Which is worse, the fact that I wrote about it, or that you, knowing from my FB status that nothing happened, read this anyway?  :)


At least it was peaceful today, my ulcer hasn't increased in diameter, and I didn't need cold sore goop on my lips.  All in all, just about all I can ask for in a work day these days!

Eye Tee Girl