Unbelievable... that's what he is

I was asked once, if I could only use one word to describe Rod, what would it be.  My answer?  Unbelievable.  I hear the stories I tell, and I almost don't believe them myself.  Nobody behaves as this man does.  Not, seriously, anyway.  And yet he does, day in, and day out.  All of my stories are true!  And the sad part is, you don't even see or read about the worst stories, because, frankly, they are just too embarrassing for me to admit, as a modern woman, I put up with his bologna (and I'm not talking about the Oscar Mayer kind).
 
Where should I start today?  Remember, he was going to fix his own problem in Peachtree, his own self?  HA!!  HA HA!  Of course, from reading the last post, you know he got nooooowhere. Hee hee.  It's no surprise, really.  Not only is he vastly underqualified to make his own support calls, but he lies, as well, to the poor people at tech support.  Really, he doesn't stand a chance at getting his problems resolved.  Poor, poor Rod.  For instance, with PeachTree, he told them that the "Administrator" (presumably me, I guess, unless he speaks of himself in the third person) changed the "password" and now he can't "log on."  Imagine the tech's confusion, considering that there is no "administrator" of PeachTree, there is no "Logon" prompt, and seeing as though there is no logon prompt, there is not a "password" that the afore-mentioned, non-existent "administrator" could change.  I was gasping as much as laughing in complete disbelief at what he was making up. 

But wait, it gets better today.

He was speaking to a vendor and said he wanted an "Acro-... Anacron... Anachronism. ANACHRONISM!"  Oh, brother.  From Merriam Webster (dot com), we get this definition:  : a chronological misplacing of persons, events, objects, or customs in regard to each other - I don't really think that is what he meant.  I think he meant Acronym, but I could be wrong.  Regardless, he reminded me of Nemo, when he was trying to say where he lives:  "I live in a... in an anem... I live in an anemone!!"  I laughed out loud.  I couldn't help myself!  Somedays are worth the pain, after all!

At one point, Rod asked me to set up a GoTo Meeting for a client to go into.  "Katie, will you get that up and running?"  I looked at the clock.  "Eight minutes early?  Sure, no problem!"  And off I went to get it going.  It probably takes 2 full minutes for everything to open and get ready, that's fine, no problem.  Twenty seconds later, "Katie!  It's PROMpting me to LOG ON..."  Sigh.  "Yeah, Rod, hang on a sec, I'm still setting it up! I'll let you know when it's ready for you to join" "grrmble ahhhERMMM"  "Yes, Katie, but are you setting it up RIGHT NOW?!"  Oh, bother.  "Yes, Rod, I am setting it up RIGHT NOW!  I promise, right now."  It worked!  Pacification!  "Ok, Rod, go for it!"  He was happy!  A miracle! 

"Katie!! Can you see my screen now?"  "Yes, Rod, I can.  You are on our home page?"  He confirmed.  "Yep, I see it."  A few seconds went by.  "So, Katie, can you see it now?"  I felt like I was in a cell phone ad:  "Can you hear me now?" "Yes, I can still see it.  I'm not looking at it, for now, until the vendor signs in, but yes..."  He muttered again.  "I'm conFUSED!  Can you SEE it or NOT?!"  "Yes, Rod, I can see it, however, my eyes are not constantly focused on the monitor right now, I am working on some other stuff."  I could hear his snort of disbelief that the product was working as expected, but ignored it.  At least he didn't want to fight about this one and come up with some way to force me to focus my eyes physically where he wanted them.  Really, he takes control to a whole new level.

Out of the blue, I heard Rod ask Jen, "So, Jen, when was the last time you did the whole, y'know, ROUTINE?"  Jen: "I'm sorry? What?"  "You know, your hair, shampoo, blow dry, how often?"  Jen was really confused.  "What?"  Then Rod said, "Well, it looks like you just rolled out of bed today, I was just wondering how often you do your hair."  Oh... my... God.  Really?!  ROD is accusing someone of not fixing their hair???  And rolling out of bed?  I must not be hearing right.  I gagged.  As soon as he left the room, I went over and said "WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?"  As is par for the course, I couldn't believe what I had just heard.  Jen was ashen.  "Rod said I look like I just rolled out of bed..."  Poor girl.  You have to understand something (She'll hate me for this) but Jen isn't your average girl.  Jen looks nice.  Everyday.  Really.  Nice.  Her idea of "dressed grubby" is my idea of how to dress for going out on the town.  For someone to ask her if she did her hair today is insulting to me... not to mention Jen.  Horrifyingly unbelievable.  There, how about 2 words to describe Rod?  Why am I still here again?  I remember a soft white muzzle giving me kisses as I left today and then I sigh, and go back to work...  Promises made, promises to keep.

As a call was running over in time, and was about to run into another call, I had to go to the bathroom.  I tried twice to excuse myself, each time Rod stopped me from leaving the call.  I'm not sure why I had to stay on the call only to schedule the next call, but Rod made me.  I was squirming! Finally, I got to go!  When I came back, it was going on noon.  Since my day starts at 7, it's tough for me to wait much past noon for eating time.  This is why it's written on the white board : Katie's Lunch, 12:30 - 1:30.  But somehow, someone booked me up through to 1.  So, as my tummy was complaining more and more, and the refusal to allow me to empty my bladder still fresh in my mind, I whined.  I admit it fully.  "Oh, MAN!  I can't go to the bathroom, and now you aren't letting me eat?!  What kinda place do I work at?!"  Jen laughed at me and said "Get back to work!"  I thought it was funny, too.  I quipped back, "Well, just get the shackles out, then, and chain me to my desk!"  Too late.  I realized far too late what I had just opened.  Of course, Rod couldn't be quiet.  "Oh, say, are we talking about BONDAGE?!"  Big long sigh.  Well, no, we weren't, but now we are.  "Well, that's not where I was taking the conversation, but I'm not surprised you did!"  Well, he just thought that was the funniest thing he had heard.  He laughed and laughed.  Jen and I just squirmed due to the rising ick factor.  Ick Factor +8.

Curse Count:  Shit, 6  :: Shit, on phone with tech support, 1 :: GD on phone with tech support, 2

And now lastly, Rod felt the need to let us know:  He's in LOOOOOOOVE.  Well, goody for you, Rod, goody for you.  Tell me this.  Does she know any of the other 4 girls you are dating?


I will see you tomorrow, dear readers.

Eye Tee Girl