Cranky Pants

Wow someone is cranky today.  I wonder if it is because Rod was going to fire Dave today?  (After all, Rod did ask Jennifer and I to leave for a period of time today at noon so he could speak privately with Dave... apparently, he's not aware of the rule to do things like that in a public place...)  Whatever the reason, Rod has been in top form today, starting in almost immediately upon my arrival.

I'll start with some good news from last week.  Rod came up to me, and in a low voice, assured me that I could now use the refrigerator, and should "feel free" to use the garbage.  Odd, I didn't think I needed an invitation to do so, and had not been piling garbage on the floor.  I felt somewhat guilty, too, as I had already been utilizing BOTH the refrigerator AND the garbage cans.  Good thing Rod made me feel okay on both counts!!  So you see, it's not ALL crazy working here.  Rod has his nice moments!

A client I shall call Jerry called in for Rod and Jennifer answered the phone.  She transfered him to Rod.  Immediately, Rod was angry and on edge with this man.  He said, "Dammit Larry... Er... Jerry.... Whatever... I want BULLET POINTS, not PARAGRAPHS, but BULLET POINTS.  I want you to say FIVE THINGS, FIVE BULLET POINTS...."  I realized immediately today was going to be a treat!

In the middle of a conference call, Rod came up behind me to get something off the printer.  "SHIT!" he said.  Quickly, I verified I was on mute before turning to give him the I'm-on-the-phone-angry eyes.  He gestured that I needed to get off the phone, then said, "Follow me"  We went to the back of the office to the bathroom, where he pointed accusingly at the garbage can.  Blankly, I looked from the rubbish bin and then back to Rod.  "The bag is TOO SMALL!" he said plaintively, then, with a flourish, almost like a magician revealing a rabbit, he pulled the lid off the trash can.  I peered inside.  Sure enough, the bag was about an inch short of the top of the can.  I looked back at him.  Oh, come ON!  Was he for REAL?  What the heck did he expect from me? So I reached over, pulled the bag up and over the edge of the can and said "There! That should do the trick...?  Right...?"  He muttered in his usual fashion and slammed the lid down and I heard him mention the smell of food.  Since I really had no idea what he was talking about, I just shrugged on the inside and returned to my call.  When the call was done, I went to talk to Jennifer, and noticed there was a new message on the white board by the front door:  "PUT FOOD IN DUMPSTER" in letters at least 4 inches high. In red ink.  And underlined.  With exclamation points!!  Whatever. 

An hour later, I was just entering a conference call with a large account. Rod kindly introduced me, "And just now coming on the call is Katie Murphy!  She is a GEEK of the HIGHEST ORDER! [long pause] And she is VERY ATTRACTIVE!"  Again, I think this is one of those moments where I don't really need to enter any commentary, I'll simply let you enjoy the inappropriate audacity roll over you in waves (as it did me.)

Shortly after that call, it was lunch time and Rod dismissed himself, assuring us he would return in a couple hours.  Jennifer got up to go to the bathroom, after which both Dave and I heard laughter, then from the back of the office, I heard her say "Did one of you put this sign up?  HILARIOUS!"  Laughing, Dave and I went to the back.  And saw... taped firmly on the inside of the bathroom door was a sign that read, in bright green ink, "WASH your HANDS"

We can't figure out why on earth Rod felt the need to remind us to wash our hands but in retrospect, I think perhaps he needed to remind himself.

The day isn't yet over, and I am sure that there are a few more whammies in store for me.  All I share here are the very best. All I know is, Dave is safe for another day and that makes me happy!