Crazy like a Fox?

Remember the "Capacity Planning Report" I was supposed to get to Rod the other day? Turns out, the "brand new" report is actually a report in a set of reports called the "Watch Counter Reports." Almost the same thing. Almost.

On top of that, there was no change whatsoever to the actual report.  Rather, the "brand new" thing was simply that the developer added a min and max range for filtering.  The arguments that ensued over what the Capacity report is and whether or not it is "brand new" and looks different were absolutely absurd.

I don't like answering the phones here.  They are almost always sales leads or follow ups, and I'm just not a sales person.  I don't like selling, I don't like wheeling and dealing, and I am not comfortable issuing offers or sales figures.  That being said, I will repeat, I do not like answering phones here.  Yet every once in a while it is necessary.  I dependably take the message down on a sticky note, and then place it on the appropriate person's desk.  Yesterday, I did this for Rod.  As I placed the note on his desk, he stopped me.  Jarringly, he spoke abruptly, and loudly: "We don't DOOOO paper messages HERE."  We then had an agonizing 15 minute demo where Rod attempted to show me how to use Goldmine to send a message to someone.  He got very excited when he saw this icon: He said "Wow, this is GREAT! Look, you can send me a paper message THIS way!"  After futzing with it, and not figuring it out, he said "How do I get this to work?"  So I squinted at his screen (in an effort to lessen proximity, I stand wayyyy back).  The icon he was looking at clearly looked like a pager, and on mouse-over even stated "Pager message" but I guess he saw "paper message."  I've said it before, I will say it again, and I'm saying it now... Poor, poor Rod.

Yesterday on a call, the customer was thrilled that Rod was not on the phone. We had to explain that not only does Rod indeed still work here, but that he is also the boss. The user was shocked and dismayed. Then he laughed at us and our unfortunate situation and he expressed pity. How embarassing.

I have just cause to believe that Rod doesn't pay his bills on time. Yesterday, I overheard Rod yesterday attempting to get technical support for our GoTo Meeting software.  (Nope, I have no idea why he didn't ask me first)  The line that got my attention was "I can't pay you!" as though the person on the other line was being completely unreasonable.  My best guess is that they were refusing to give him support until he paid his bill.  He continued on, insisting that he would pay his bill once he received the paper copy.  Hmm.  Slimy Factor +1.

Oh, have I mentioned?  Dave is still here!  He received written notification that his employment would terminate yesterday, but due to constant Rod interruptions, we still need Dave's help.  So... his employment has been extended by one extra day.  If training had actually gone as it should have, this could be Dave's last week.  However, since Rod tried to pack it all into one day and lied all along about my purpose there, we are essentially just now starting the training process.  So really, nobody knows what Dave's last day will really be.  It just seems to keep getting extended...  Poor Dave.

At one point yesterday, Dave and I were reviewing the release notes for a product.  Rod was completely flummoxed by them (of course).  He repeated more than once that they were confusing and he needed translation.  He stuffed the paperwork in front of Dave and asked him to explain the first release note on the list.  It wasn't really difficult to understand, essentially it said the reports would run more quickly, and it noted the min/max filter I mentioned earlier.  Dave asked him "Have you read this?"  Rod nodded affirmatively and shoved the paperwork closer with a grunt, much like a monkey pushing a banana towards a potential comrade.  As Dave started to read it to Rod, Rod nudges me and orders "TAKE NOTES!"  Because I had no doubt I would understand what was coming, I didn't move.  Again, it came at me "TAKE NOTES!!!!!"  I said, "I heard you.  Oh! Did you want me to take notes for you?"  This witty come back of mine did not really go over well.  Rod grabbed the paper work and slammed (yes, slammed) it on the desk in front  of me.  "YOU underSTAND THIS CRAP??"  "Yes, Rod, I do."  "THEN YOU EXPLAIN IT!!!"  You could tell he was sure I was lying, that I would have no idea what the notes said.  So I basically read the first point to him.  In plain English.  It was very easy to understand.  And it became very obvious that he had not, in fact, read it at all.  *sigh*

As I was leaving for lunch, he approached and started mumbling something while running his hands through his hair.  I referred to this action, to which he said, "What, oh, that? Yeah I didn't wash it today"  Oh DAMN dude, that's just NASTY. I don't need to know this stuff.  Really.  I don't.  Ick Factor +5. Slimy Factor +2. 

Then he said to me with a smirky smile, "Remember, Katie, I'm dumb... Real dumb like a fox.  Heheheh"

Yes, Rod... you are... But fox isn't the mammal I would have chosen...

Yesterday was busy, everyone, so I didn't get this posted until today.  I am hoping to get today's blog out a little later.

Eye Tee Girl