Friday Happy Dance

Yay!  It's Friday again.  I tell you truly, I have never before looked forward to Fridays as I do here.  Never.  When I get my first paid day off (Thanksgiving) I will definitely be giving thanks.  (And no, I won't be coming in the next day, I have to figure out how to finesse that.  Please post your suggestions to help me weasel out of work on Friday and still get paid.  You can even post anonymously now!)
 
Rod never ceases to impress me with his repertoire of odd things to say.  For instance, he recently wanted to chase down a sale.  Only he phrased it "We're going after this customer like a bad smell!"  Now, he thought it was funny to say that, and I suppose it was funny to hear it.  But I have absolutely no idea what it means.  Is he referring to the way a fart sticks to someone, and even though they may fart in another room, they can still bring their stink in with them as it piggy backs to the new location?  Is he therefore calling us something akin to a fart?  That's a rather nasty thought... Or is he trying to say that he's going after this customer like you'd attack a foul stench in the room, and do everything you can to get rid of it?  If it's the latter, I think he needs to work on his customer service skills, because you don't want to tuck your nose under your shirt and wave the air madly directly in front of a customer - customers tend not to hang around when confronted with this type of behavior.  And lastly, as we know from an earlier post, while Rod is good at making stinkies, he is not so good at eliminating them. So while, at times, he can be mildly entertaining... it still just doesn't ... quite... work.

Yesterday, Rod wore a different cologne. Thank heavens, because his usual smell, while not necessarily offensive, was a smell that I just don't like.  I suppose it's his soap or something?  Sorta like a really bad English Leather rip off.  Anyway, it was nice to have a different Rod smell in the office, and I think it proves he had a date yesterday.  Jennifer and I just can't figure out why else he was so happy yesterday.  I mean, for crying out loud, he was whistling!  Actually whistling!  And it may have even been a merry tune!  Crazy.
 
This is probably why I've had to dig for stories lately. If Rod's in a good mood, there just isn't as much material!
 
Poor Jen has been sick for three or four days now.  The weather's been fantastic, but for her, the skies just weren't as bright of a blue.  Today, it is raining.  Jen is coughing over there like she has been almost all week.  She was telling me about nursing her cough last night when Rod pipes up: "Oh, nonsense, Jennifer!  You're just MOPING about the RAIN!"  Oh, really, Rod?  Then what has she been doing the rest of the week?  I think it has completely escaped his notice that she has been sick almost all weak.  Lame-O!
 
"Have you ever gone LIMP on your COMPany?" he asked a client this morning.  Is there an interpreter in the house?  Hopefully you can tell me that this is not a sexual reference.  Ick Factor +3


Rod and I were clearly disagreeing on a simple point today.  He thought a Microsoft product did X and Y, while I think it only does X (at least, straight out of the box it only does X.  However, you can usually regedit or hack your way through anything MS).  So I said "We just disagree."  He paused and looked at the wall for a long time while tenting his fingers and leaning back in his chair.  He was kinda squinting.  Then he looked at me "Define 'disagree'."  OMG, Really?  So I said, "Do you know what agree means?  I mean the opposite of that."  He didn't think it was funny, but Jennifer and I sure did.


That was when I noticed he wheezes in a whistly phlegmy type of way.  Ick Factor +6


Rod used the last (all but 3 squares) of the toilet paper in the bathroom.  And not only did he not replace the empty roll, he didn't even make sure there was any paper in the bathroom.  Use whatever imagery you desire to picture someone very uncomfortable while fetching more tp for the bathroom.  NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!


While speaking to a customer, Rod said "I don't know if you want to get into office politics... " There was a long pause, I'm sure you know what word came next.  "BUT... a coworker and I disagree about something."  He proceeded to tell the customer about our whole argument, never having given the gentleman on the other end a chance to say "No, please don't drag me into your sewers!"  Rod just doesn't understand social niceties.  Or maybe he does and just really enjoys making people feel uncomfortable.  Like when he met my partner this week.  "Soooo, I have to TELL you... Katie's been sharing details of your LOVE life with me."  WTF?  Even if I had (which I hadn't) how is that appropriate to tell someone while he's holding his hand out to meet you?  (It's not)  Whatever the case, wherever Rod walks, he is bound to make someone else feel slimier for the encounter.

As Rod left, (For swimming?  For lunch?) he said he was going to the liquor store.  To help calm his nerves after such a trying day.  I mentioned I like a fine tequila.  He said "I think it's every man for himself!"  Sigh.  No matter how hard I try, I just can't make sense out of this man.



Anyway, the good news is that it is FRIDAY!  I am going to see a movie this weekend!  And drink lots and lots of alcohol.  Give me comments, folks!  In this insane place, words of sanity and wisdom are all I can cling to.  REALLY!  And you can post anonymously, so nobody need know who you are (even me!)


Enjoy the time away from work, everyone, I know I will.


I remain,


Eye Tee Girl