Hormones and Good Cheer

You know how, in the movies, when the hero gets laid, in the next scene, he'll waltz onto the screen, happy, singing, and maybe even whistling?  Well, that is how much Rod has changed now that he's getting some.  (Or has a girlfriend at least).  It is the weirdest thing to see him in such good cheer.  There has been a serious personality shift.
 
Unfortunately, it would appear that with this good fortune comes a serious side effect when someone starts getting laid.  Er, gets a girlfriend.  It would seem that Rod's back has gone out on him.  Now, I don't know for sure that the new girlfriend is putting out, but combine the good cheer and recent back injury?  I'm sure boss man is tappin' some o' that.

He was talking to his brother yesterday and he mentioned he has a "lady friend."  (Why does it seem so tacky and lascivious when an old man calls his girl friend his "lady friend?")  But I digress... While on the phone with his brother, Rod asked his brother to not call him on his 1-800 line, because he gets charged.  His recommendation to his brother (we'll call him Bob) is that Bob use his cell phone instead, because then Bob will have to incur the expenses.  What a penny pincher!  Sheesh, won't even cover the bill for his own brother to call him!

As the conversation progressed, he spoke more of the lady friend.  And then, to my horror, he said that he'd be more than happy to share "the lay of the land, so to speak! HO HA HO HA!!  That is to say, I have more IRONS in the fire, HO HA!  I will send you some LINKS."  Oh... my... GOD.  Is he talking about sharing his girlfriend?  Or something only slightly less nefarious, like he is dating someone now, but has other girls on match.com that he is checking out? (Rod is on match.com at least half of every work day.)  Either way, sharing them with his brother?  I mean, damn!  Ick Factor+5 either way.  100 additional points if he is talking about sharing the girlfriend.

So a woman called Rod on his cell phone.  I could hear her voice.  He said "It's my mother! My mother!" He was yelling excitedly.  The poor woman was obviously confused by Rod's mistake and there was stunned silence on the other end of the phone.  "My mother is in HEAVEN!"  Hmm. I'm not sure what he was trying to say.  My thinking is maybe he was trying to poetically compare her to an angel?  But never quite got it out right.  Anyway, he then went on to say, "Ok, I'm at your web site..." I don't know many women with web sites, and those that do, well, let's just say I wouldn't visit their sites while at work.  (Well, I never would, but I think you get my point).

As I mentioned, Rod managed to hurt his back "somehow" over the last day or two.  He has now managed to tell four separate people (including customers, not counting Jennifer and me) that his back is out. "My lower back, LOWER BACK has ISSUES and it is imPEDing my sleep."  He just likes telling people about his libido being sore.  (Think he means lumbago?)

Instead of saying "ought" like "awt," he pronounces it "Out"

Rod has named his truck "Rooster," (talk about over-compensation with a vehicle) and told me he only drives it when there is inclement weather.  Considering the flood and wind warnings that are in effect until Sunday (and have been most of this week), it seems odd to me he has been driving his sedan all week.  I guess he thinks a dented old Lexus will make a better impression on his lady friend?  You make the call.

Well, off I go back to work.  Rod is due back from the Doctor's soon.  Maybe his "libido" will keep him home all day.  Maybe his lady friend can help! ;)

Eye Tee Girl