I think we have a bad connection...

Today, Rod is a bit off.  That should warn you, if Rod is having an off day.  The stories are hitting every time he opens his mouth to speak.  Here we go!


On the first call Rod made today, he told the client "Hey, we're in Seattle, it is grey and raining."  I looked outside and saw blue skies and bright yellow sunshine.  One man's trash, I suppose...



One day last week, Rod thought it was November 11.  This week, he thinks November 17th is tomorrow. 


Jennifer asked me for help.  A client was having trouble emailing us.  I went over to investigate, and was quite loudly interrupted by Rod.  "That's because our ISP doesn't LIKE their EMAIL adDRESS." (He didn't know who we were talking about... but hey, interesting philosophy.)  His statement ended there.  I still have no idea if our client is able to email us with his unfavorable email address.



To a client:  "You know, Oklahoma and Seattle have bad blood between them."  WTF?


On my second or third day here (back in October), I got into the office first and decided to turn on Rod's coffee for him.  A dime-sized droplet spilled out during the process.  He pointed it out, making sure I understood to put the pot all the WAY in, UNDER the stream of water.  I rolled my eyes and vowed I wouldn't make his coffee again.  I haven't.  Rod does a much better job of controlling the mess:

I see.  Just put paper towels everywhere, and that will contain the mess.  Should I ask him if he put the pot ALL the way UNDER the water?  The white appliance to the left of the picture is the microwave I will have to cook my lunch in later today.  Lovely.

Jen and I often head to the Safeway nearby for lunch.  Sammiches and soup, yum!  It's no secret.  And generally, we are back in 20 minutes or so.  Yesterday, Rod was quite proud of himself as he waltzed in after a talk with the neighbors:  "So my SPIES told me where you WENT for LUNCH today."  "Um, Rod, if I'd known you were interested, I could've told you we went to ... " when he said "SAFEWAY!  You went to SAFEWAY!  I like to be serendip-... serendipi-... um. I like to be CONNIVING in my information gathering."  Now at this point, I got confused.  It sounded as if he was trying to say "Serendipitous," but in context, I think he was going for "Surreptitious."  Thoughts?

Rod has asked me to send out a fax for him.  Fine, I can do that.  What put my back up was when he finished "Yeah, I need to get this off my to-do list, it's been there for weeks!"  Rod, why don't you send the fax, then?  Imagine the feeling of confidence! Oh, wait.  That's right.  Rod can't figure out the fax machine.

Rod receives daily, if not hourly, calls from the bank.  Jennifer and I don't really know what these calls are about, but these folks definitely sound cranky.  They've been known to say things like "Is Rod the only person in AP? Or is there someone else I can speak to?"  On a call he just received, Rod got cranky and told whomever it was to "not call back until JANuary."  Good luck with that, Rod. It doesn't work when I tell my creditors to stop calling and go away. 

Rod told us today that his truck tire has a slow leak.  I want to ask if he's sure it's his tire that leaks slowly...

Yes, everyday working here becomes more terrifying, but I think maybe I'm beginning to thrive on the danger now.  Yes, my res is out on Monster, so I'll leave when I get a better offer... but still, for now, this place can be highly entertaining.  But I need more followers!  Send this blog out to everyone you know, on Facebook, in email, let them know the stories are REAL! (You can't make this stuff up).  But above all, please, keep reading, keep commenting, and help me survive this place!

Eye Tee Girl